States I Won't Reside In (And Neither Should You) - Part III.

Here it is, folks. This is the final part in my States I Won't Reside In (And Neither Should You) series. Here are Part I and Part II if you're catching up. I've combined my results from the previous two parts and come up with a ranking of all fifty states -- from least likely to most likely to reside in. Here's how I did it.

For each map (one climate based, one social based), I awarded points in the following manner:

• A state marked as "no major reason not to live there" earns a +1 per map.
• A state marked as "would only consider living in certain specific areas" earns a +0.5 per map.
• A state marked as having only one specific problem as a deterrent earns a -1 per map.
• A state marked as having "more than one reason not to live there" earns a -2 per map.

Behold, a compiled list of results! There are eight categories of point totals (-4, -3, -1.5, -0.5, 0, 1, 1.5, 2). We'll start at the very bottom and work are way to the top.

-4 Points (The Worst of the Worst) ~ Black

• Florida

-3 Points (Pretty Bad) ~ Dark Red

• Alabama
• California
• Louisiana
• Mississippi

-1.5 Points (Fairly Objectionable) ~ Red

• Georgia
• Minnesota

-0.5 Points (Probably Not) ~ Orange

• Arizona
• Kansas
• Massachusetts
• Nebraska
• New York
• North Dakota
• Oklahoma
• Utah

0 Points (It's a Toss Up) ~ Yellow

• Connecticut
• Maine
• New Hampshire
• Oregon
• Rhode Island
• Vermont
• Washington

1 Point (Slightly Better Chance) ~ Light Blue

• Alaska
• Idaho
• Iowa
• Michigan
• Montana
• New Jersey
• Pennsylvania
• South Dakota
• Texas
• Wisconsin

1.5 Points (Probably Would) ~ Dark Blue

• Arkansas
• Colorado
• Hawaii
• Illinois
• Indiana
• Kentucky
• Maryland
• Missouri
• New Mexico
• North Carolina
• South Carolina
• Tennessee
• Virginia
• West Virginia
• Wyoming

2 Points (The Best of the Best) ~ Green

• Delaware
• Nevada
• Ohio

Wow, what a list! Who would have guessed that my top three states that I'd consider residing in would be Delaware, Nevada or Ohio? Each state affords its residents both wonderful natural beauty and a friendly climate. Ironically, all three are also key geographic hub locations. Ohio is an excellent starting point for traveling all over the Mid-West. Delaware is perfect for getting up and down the East Coast. Nevada is centered squarely in the West. If you like to travel (and I do), then each of these three states is a prime candidate.

As we go down the list of results, we can see that there's lots of other states I'd consider living in, but only in certain metropolitan areas. Arkansas would be a perfectly acceptable state for residence if living near a major city, as would Missouri.

Farther down the list, there are states where it would take some serious convincing for me to live there, like Vermont (beautiful and friendly, but terrible winters) and Utah (gorgeous landscape, but too many religious fundamentalists).

Then we have the dredges of the states, places like Alabama, California, Minnesota and Mississippi. I'd have to be under duress to consider living in these states. They are not appealing to me at all.

Finally, in last place, all by its lonesome... we have Florida. What a terrible, terrible place to ever live. Never in a million years would I even dream of owning a home in the Sunshine State.

Thanks for following along on this journey, my friends. I'd be curious to see your own results. Complete the two maps, tally up your points and share the results. Until next time!

States I Won't Reside In (And Neither Should You) - Part I.

Presented below is a map of the United States. I have color coded each state to represent places I would and would not be interested in residing in long term, as pertaining to its respective climate and threat of natural disasters. This map does not represent states where I would feel uncomfortable to live because of the political and social climate, which is for another article entirely (Part II).

(Part III of this series is available here.)

Each color symbolizes the following:
Blue - Hurricanes
Brown - Would Only Consider Living In Certain Specific Areas
Green - No Major Reason Not To Live There
Orange - Seismic / Volcanic Activity
Purple - High Snowfall / Blizzards
Red - More Than One Reason Not To Live There
Yellow - Tornadoes

You might find this map to be peculiar, but I consider very seriously the climate of a region. As an intelligent, responsible adult, you must take it upon yourself to wisely choose a place to live. If you choose to live in areas where natural disasters strike often, then I have little pity for you should you lose your home or perish.

I'll explain further, by color and the associated hazard.

Hurricanes (Blue) - Many states along the Gulf Coast are hammered regularly by dangerous hurricanes. It seems senseless to have a home in such an area, especially when the land is so close to sea level (or in some cases, below it). If you live in New Orleans by choice, then you're a buffoon.

Only Specific Areas (Brown) - If a state is brown on the map, that means I probably wouldn't consider living in most parts of it. I only believe a specific area or city to be safely habitable. For example... Idaho is flush against Washington and Oregon, where seismic and volcanic threats are high. As such, I'd only consider living in the central or eastern region of Idaho. As with Iowa, the western portion of the state is in Tornado Alley, but the eastern side is relatively safe. With Georgia, I would only consider the very northern portion of the state, which is far enough away from the Gulf Coast. You get the idea.

No Major Reason Not To Live Here (Green) - These are states where potential natural disasters and climate present a low, manageable threat. Most (but not necessarily all) of the land in these states is habitable long-term. Obviously, areas near the coast line would be excluded.

Seismic / Volcanic Activity (Orange) - This is an area where the threat of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions are the most severe. Obviously, states like California fall into this category, but Oregon and Washington do as well. Most folks are unaware of the danger presented by the Cascadia Fault, which runs through the Pacific Northwest. As such, this region is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

High Snowfall / Blizzards (Purple) - I personally like snow, but I do not want to spend extended periods of time trapped without the ability to move around. High snowfall totals also present problems with driving, which many people are not skilled enough to handle. Along with snow and blizzards come prolonged power outages. Thanks, but no thanks.

More Than One Reason (Red) - States painted red are places I would never even remotely consider residing. California faces not only earthquakes, but also severe drought. Minnesota faces intense snowfall and blizzards in the northern part of the state, while the southern portion is within Tornado Alley. Florida is prone to hurricanes and extremely hot temperatures.

Tornadoes (Yellow) - These are areas that regularly suffer tornadoes. It seems year after year, folks rebuild their homes directly in the path of common tornado strikes. This is absurd to me -- why anyone lives here, I have no idea.

What Not to Do in a Snow Storm.

I have to be honest with you -- as I type this article, I've had a few adult beverages. I feel FANTASTIC! Wine sure is great, isn't it?

Tonight's article is about what you SHOULDN'T do when you're faced with a possible snow storm.

A typical horse-drawn snow carriage in the nineteenth century.

Here's what you shouldn't do:

Don't buy a bunch of food which requires refrigeration. Guess what? When your power goes out, all the stuff in your fridge will spoil. Buying up a a bunch of milk, eggs, frozen pizza, frozen burritos and the like is a waste of money. If you really feel compelled to stock up on food, purchase non-perishable goods like tuna fish, crackers, dry cereal, oatmeal, rice, beans and canned mackerel.

Mmmmmm.... canned mackerel.

Don't waste time driving to see your boo. Your boo isn't important. Stay off the road if the snow is just too much for you to handle. If your boo loves you, they will wait. Otherwise, drop your boo like a bad habit and find a new boo.

Don't freak out. Snow is just rain you can pick up. It's not amazing... it's just nature's dandruff. You'll survive.

Don't crowd the grocery store. You probably need a bath because you're a poor piece of human trash. No one wants to smell your funk.

Don't crash your vehicle. The snow isn't difficult to drive in. Drop your transmission into low gear, put down your cell phone and pay attention. After a while, you'll learn that driving in the snow is actually fun!

There's my tips for surviving a snow storm. It's not difficult. You can do it!

I've got to go now. I need to finish a bottle of wine. Toodles!