Saturday, November 16, 2013

Another dream.

I had another quite peculiar and unsettling dream last night. I thought I would share it with you.

Oddly enough, I found myself in a church. Not a fancy church or cathedral, but a very homely, dilapidated country church. The pews were filled with a wide variety of people, whom seemed to be shouting and hollering. I was sitting in one of the pews, trying to find a way out of the madness. Suddenly, my mother took a seat next to me. She was in a condition very similar to the months before she became bed-ridden and passed away -- still able to walk, but feeble and weak.

As she sat down, I noticed that was she excited about a box in her hands. The box said 'Holy Nuts'.

Yes, you read that right -- 'Holy Nuts'.

These weren't nuts like cashews or almonds, but mechanical nuts used with screws and bolts. For some reason I can't explain, my mother's excitement lead me to believe that she was going to eat these nuts. She was hollering with the rest of the crowd now, shouting exclamations of hope that these nuts would completely heal her.

This overwhelming sense of pity engulfed me. I truly saw my mother as a pitiful and defenseless creature, just trying to get by however possible.

I leaned in close to my mom and said "This will not make you better. They will make you sicker and kill you." Yet, she continued to profess the magical ability of the items in the box and would not listen. Finally, I grabbed her and said "You can't eat these mom. You'll die!"

The shouting and hollering in the room stopped. All became still and calm. It was as if the other people in the room disappeared. My mother placed her hand on my shoulder and said "Son, I'm not going to eat them. I am going to sell them. The money will pay for me to get better."

So there we sat... on a pew in a church that I assuredly had no business being in. She began to rub my back. It was like... like I could feel it for real. Just a comforting rub, back and forth.

And then I awoke. Not just a half-asleep consciousness like when you first get up in the morning or slam on your snooze button. I was AWAKE. Rolling over, I glanced at the clock and saw that it was barely 5 AM. The piercing sense of pity was still with me. Turning to my side, I fell back to sleep quickly.

The emotions contained within the dream have lingered with me all day. What did the dream mean? Was there a message to be had? What was my subconscious mind trying to work out? We all know that I'm not a religious person at all. Why would I find myself in a church of all places? Much less, isn't it odd that I had this dream on the night of my birthday?

I've been asking myself questions all day, with no real answers to be found.