Wednesday, September 30, 2015

How To Make Fake Blood!

Earlier this month, I gave you a simple recipe to create your very own batch of slime. Now I've got a method to produce something even more disgusting... BLOOD!

If you want to make some thick, realistic looking blood, all you need are three ingredients:

2 Tablespoons of Corn Syrup
4 Drops of Red Food Coloring
1 Teaspoon of Cocoa Powder

Make sure to mix this concoction thoroughly. You'll produce a batch of fake blood that has a thick, viscous nature. It'll look just like the real thing. Because of the corn syrup, it'll be sticky as well. You'll be able to eat this if you want for the added gross-out factor. There's nothing toxic in it. But wait!

What if you need blood to splatter all over your clothes or haunted house?

Here's a second fake blood recipe if you need something thinner and more easily sprayed or brushed onto surfaces.

1/4 Cup of Water
8 - 10 Drops of Red Food Coloring
4 Tablespoons of Corn Syrup
1 Drop of Green Food Coloring
2 Drops of Yellow Food Coloring

This batch of fake blood will be thinner. You can use a paintbrush to splatter it on clothing, walls and curtains. Just remember -- red food coloring will stain and does not easily come out. Go nuts with this stuff and cover your monstrous costume in blood. Your friends will be envious... and your victims will be terrified!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

The Origin of the Hook Man Urban Legend.

When it comes to urban legends, the story of the Hook Man is probably the most well known. To paraphrase the story...
A young couple are making out at a lover's lane, which is a secluded spot where people park for intimate encounters. They turn on the radio and hear a report about an escaped killer from a local mental institution. This killer uses a hook to murder his victims, which replaces one of his missing hands. The girl feels uneasy and asks to go home. The boy instead wants to stay and continue their frisky behavior. Finally, the girl demands to leave for their own safety, to which the boy angrily agrees. He suddenly speeds away from the lover's lane. Upon arriving at the girl's home to drop her off, they discover a bloody hook hanging from one of the car's door handles.
Multiple variations of this tale have been told around campfires and at Halloween parties for decades. Yet, I got to thinking. Where did this urban legend actually come from? Is it based on an actual event? Turns out, the Hook Man is real... sort of.

The tale has circulated since at least the mid 1950's. Since then, the story has grown and been drastically inflated to make it seem extra frightening. In reality, there have indeed been many incidents where couples making out at lover's lanes were murdered. The first series of widely reported lover's lane murders are the Texarkana Moonlight Murders. They took place during the late winter and early spring of 1946 in Texarkana, a moderate size city which rests on the border between Texas and Arkansas. Throughout the ordeal, a total of eight people were attacked by a murderer referred to by the media as the Phantom Killer. Of the eight, five were murdered by the Phantom. The killer has never been identified and probably passed away without anyone knowing what he or she did. The Texarkana Moonlight Murders drew national attention at the time. Nearly every newspaper and radio news service in the United States spread the details about the murders. The killer had a clear modus operandi. They would only attack very late at night on lover's lanes or in secluded make-out spots, typically three weeks apart. A .32 pistol was used in all but one of the murders.

In the decade after the Moonlight Murders, the Hook Man story started to crop up. Most literary and social experts credit the Hook Man as a cautionary tale initiated by parents whom wanted to encourage their children to abstain from sexual activity. Essentially, if adults could scare their kids into believing a story about a violent serial killer attacking people on lover's lane, they'd avoid such a scenario. As the story entered the public consciousness, teenagers then told it to each other and expanded upon the narrative -- the legend of the Hook Man was born! The urban legend would grow and evolve from one group of people to the next, much like a spreading virus. As the years progressed, other similar murders helped stoke the proverbial fire. Examples include the unsolved 1990 Houston Lover's Lane murders and the notorious Zodiac Killer.

So there you have it! The Hook Man urban legend still lives to this day. Though, considering what I learned in my research, the premise isn't so far fetched. Maybe taking your favorite guy or gal to a secluded moonlit spot and making out isn't such a great idea after all!

Monday, September 28, 2015

The Difference Between Horror and Gore Movies.

This past weekend, Eli Roth's latest slaughter-fest The Green Inferno opened in theaters nationwide. It grossed approximately $3.5 million dollars via 1,540 theaters. Lauded as one of Roth's most gruesome and visually disturbing films yet, The Green Inferno is a brutal cannibalism movie from start to finish. To summarize without spoiling the plot, a group of college students become trapped in the rain forest with a tribe of man-eating cannibals. Extreme acts of graphic mutilation, violence and death ensue. Therein exists the problem with this film, along with other works under Roth's belt (Hostel, Cabin Fever). Many are quick to label such graphic, gory movies as horror. Honestly... they couldn't be any farther from the truth.

Gore is not the same thing as horror. It's in a class all to itself.

When I think of horror movies, I can't help but be reminded of the classics -- Dracula, The Wolfman, and Night of the Living Dead for example. These films and others like them reflect what a horror film should be. Atmosphere and mood are extremely important, as is the element of suspense. A horror film magnetically draws the viewer into its narrative. Ultimately, the hardest misconception to break is that horror movies are required to frighten the viewer. This simply isn't true. The spectacle of the horror film exists to present an alternative reality, one with fantastical components that break from the ordinary. The viewer can temporarily step away from reality and rendezvous with a monster or a ghost. Maybe this new reality has more familiar elements like a serial killer on the loose, but highlights an increased air of suspense. Horror movies make the viewer want to watch because they feature stories far removed from boring, everyday life. The characters within them run through a gamut of emotions -- fear, paranoia, sadness and even laughter. Ultimately, we know that the horror film is not real. It's a fantasy that we can revisit whenever we want -- a proverbial vacation into a world of the unknown.

Gore movies don't possess en masse any of the classic elements of horror. They're about one thing and one thing only: shocking the viewer with as many brutal scenes of death, dismemberment, exploding guts, flesh-eating, ripped viscera and corpse mutilation as virtually possible. A gore film wants your stomach to hurt; it wants you to vomit. The gross-out factor is top priority. The more disgusting and absolutely repulsive the final product, the better. In fact, a gore film wants to be so abominable that you may stop believing it's a fantasy.

This isn't going to end well.

This isn't to say that a horror film may not have a gory scene in it. Many great horror movies have gory elements dropped here or there throughout their story. Take John Carpenter's The Thing for example. There are numerous moments where the villainous creature in the film enacts grisly violence against the characters trapped with it. There's one large difference, though. The film itself uses the element of gore much like a spice in a recipe. Just a dash of gore is sprinkled sporadically to intensify the suspense. The viewer readily understands how much danger the characters are in without being completely sickened. Even over-the-top slasher movies like the Friday the 13th series or the A Nightmare on Elm Street series can still be considered horror films. Though they may use gore as a part of their presentation, the element serves as a means of imbuing danger or comedy. I'd even like to cite an example where horror, gore and humor come together to form a perfect storm of black comedy -- Peter Jackson's Braindead. There are some especially violent scenes in that film with blood and guts flying everywhere, but they're all played for laughs in a non-serious way. Alternatively, a gore movie is like a recipe with a whole lot of only one ingredient -- severe physical violence.

Do I think gore movies should be banned? Not at all. I believe in free speech and am totally against censorship. If you want to make movies where people are torn apart and disemboweled, well then wonderful. You're well within your rights to commit such vile brutality to film. I might not like or appreciate gory movies, but they have every right to be produced.

When it comes to the fans of such violent, stomach-churning films, I can't help but wonder. Why would anyone want to watch people being viciously torn to pieces? There's little merit in witnessing a person die in a grisly manner, real or otherwise. Does seeing a person's eyes being ripped from their head and eaten bring you pleasure? Does watching a person's entrails being clawed out of their abdomen and consumed by rampaging savages generate happiness? If you can answer yes, then I can only find myself arriving at the next logical conclusion... is the mutilation and evisceration of the human form something you enjoy? If so, are you living vicariously through the traumatic violence on screen? I would certainly hope not, but I am left to ponder the altogether stunning alternative.

Let me be clear -- I don't want to pick on Eli Roth. Technically, he's a fine filmmaker with a knack for knowing how to piece a memorable movie together. Certainly, there are other producers and directors that have crafted just as disturbing gore features, if not more so. Some examples that immediately come to my mind are Lucio Fulci's The New York Ripper and Hideshi Hino's Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh & Blood. Yet, I can't be any clearer in my motivations for writing this article. Let's provide a proper distinction between a horror film and a gore film.

Gore doth not a horror movie make.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Draw Something: Floating Eyeball Monster

This makes two consecutive monsters in my Draw Something series! Not sure where I got the inspiration for this, but I had the sudden urge to sketch a giant eyeball. Oddly, the tedious, sinewy nerves were the most fun part to draw. I'm quite proud of the overall result! 

Saturday, September 26, 2015

The Diner At The Edge Of Town.

Bells rang out as a man of reasonable stature entered the Yellow Moon Diner. Letting the door slip behind him, it made a soft clank upon slowly snapping shut. Looking around the establishment, the gentlemen took note of the worn menu signs hanging above the service counter. A short, balding man with a plaid apron was busy tossing eggs and hash around the griddle. The sizzle of the frying food was only outweighed by the inviting smell of the cooking hash. The aroma filling the entire diner was like returning home after a far too long absence. Any loving mother would be envious.

Nestled along the one of the lesser used roads leading out of town, the diner was essentially a long silver tanker with windows. Neon lights traced the edge of the roof, sending technicolor beams into the rapidly approaching wilderness. The radiant pulse eerily lit the few cars parked in front, turning them into spectral vessels in the darkness.

The new customer took a seat at the counter. He immediately noticed how the stool, made of chrome and blue leather, spun so easily. Doing a complete rotation around his seat, he suddenly stopped to see the brightest of blue eyes staring at him from behind the counter.

"What'll you have?"

A young lady, whom couldn't have been more than twenty-five or thirty years old, stood eagerly with pen and pad in hand. Her uniform, a black and pink dress, was anything but drab. She had short blonde hair that shimmered with an opalescent quality. On her left shoulder sat a name tag that read Juniper.

Slightly befuddled, the fellow glanced briefly at the menu board.

"Hi Juniper. I'm Alvin. Two biscuits and a bacon omelet, please."

Scribbling rapidly on her pad, Juniper made sure the cook overheard Alvin's order, then brought a glass of water.

"So what brings you all the way out here? Wednesday nights are usually slow. Not too many customers if you don't count the crickets."

Alvin peeled his trench-coat off and draped it over the stool next to him. Loosening his tie a bit, he let out a sigh.

"I was supposed to meet a blind date here a few minutes ago, but I'm starting to wonder if she's going to show up."

"Maybe she's just running a little bit late. Things happen."

"I suppose. Though, I found it a little odd that she wanted to meet here at a diner. I've never even seen this place in my travels. My mom has mentioned it to me. Said she'd been here before... I think."

Juniper cracked the smile of a rosy cherub. It was like the sun suddenly shoved the moon back in bed and rose unannounced.

"We've got our regulars, mostly retirees. The breakfast rush is pretty tough, believe it or not. Lots of hungry truck drivers and farmers to feed. Coffee?"

Alvin nodded and Juniper poured him a cup.

"This is going to sound a little strange, but do you have any cinnamon? Old habits die hard."

She miraculously produced a shaker from below the counter, to which Alvin promptly shook it thrice into his mug.

"Not strange at all Alvie. You must have picked it up from one of your grandparents. The old timers ask for cinnamon in their coffee all the time."

A now thoroughly surprised Alvin confirmed that he did indeed learn it from his grandfather, whom in turn picked up the trick while in France during World War II. As he stirred the spice into his drink, Alvin's face took on the look of wonder. How did she know?

Juniper walked behind the griddle into the forbidden recesses of the diner. Like some mystical huntress, she reappeared with two of the tastiest biscuits Alvin would ever eat in his life.

"Would you like some butter or jam?"

Alvin requested the latter.

"Strawberry or peach?"

Again with the latter, Alvin selected the peach jam. Juniper seemed to approve with her lively eyes.

"I think the type of jam a person eats says a lot about them. Strawberry jam is great, but it's like chicken pox. Everyone has had it. Peach jam is far more extraordinary. Why eat strawberry jam when you can have something so delightfully peachy?"

Never one to consider the merits of his jam preference, Alvin now had to face the facts -- he was an oddball.

"You caught me red-handed. Sure, strawberry jam is tasty, but I like to live on the wild side!"

Alvin shimmed in his chair a little bit and waved his hands over his head.

"It's been many years since I've had peach jam. When life gives you the chance to taste the unordinary, you take it."

Both hands were now firmly planted against Juniper's chin; her elbows were propped upon the counter.

"I feel the same way. Why live in a world that's black and white when you can exist in full color?"

"You got it, Juniper. Say, you're the only Juniper I've ever met. Strange name, but it has a nice ring to it."

Twirling around to look over her shoulder, Juniper was busy checking on the omelet. Just about done, from the looks of it.

"My dad wanted to name me June, but my mom thought it was so boring. They came to a compromise with Juniper. Pop would still call me June when mom wasn't around, though."

"You must have heard a lot of tree jokes in school."

"More than I care to recall."

The cook plated the omelet on a large oval dish. Bacon jutted from both ends in random directions. The cheese was still bubbling on top, like a miniature volcano eagerly waiting to explode. Juniper swiftly delivered it to her hungry customer, noticing how happy he now appeared to be.

"Your date is missing out. Did she give you her name?"

Setting his fork on the plate, Alvin magnetically locked gazes with Juniper. He awkwardly knocked his butter knife off the plate and onto the floor, illustrating his klutzy nature. Bending over to retrieve the utensil, he bumped his head on a stool.


Rising slowly, he just knew the waitress and potentially the cook would be laughing at him. Nope... just the waitress. Her hands were poorly hiding a deeply charming giggle.

"A bit of a butterfingers, are we?"

"Yeah. I've got the balance of an egg in an apple tree."

"It's okay. I'll get you another knife."

Returning to his now properly labeled throne of embarrassment, Alvin reached for the hot sauce and doused his omelet. Taking the first bite, Juniper came back with a clean cutting instrument.

"You were about to say... her name?"

Alvin swallowed another bite, then chased it with a swig from his coffee mug.

"That's the weird part. My mom set this up. She didn't give me her name. Just a place and time to be. Mom said I'd know her by the wings she flew in with. It was cryptic. Made me double pinkie-swear promise to come. And to think... my date doesn't even show. Oh well. Mom tried, right?"

"She did. Can't blame her for wanting you to be happy. Maybe next time."

A bit depressed now, Alvin finished his first biscuit with peach jam and emptied his coffee mug. Juniper refilled the cup and gracefully prepared it with cinnamon for him. He smiled and said thank you with his eyes.

"So what brings you to this diner? A smart gal like you could be in a law office or landing your millionth real estate deal."

Juniper glided across the alley behind the counter and approached an empty stool next to Alvin. She hopped up and leaned her right arm against the bar.

"You see all this?"

She waved her other hand through the air like an aspiring game show prize presenter.

"This fine dining establishment is all mine. Mom and dad left it to me when they passed. I've been in this building since I was a little girl. Didn't feel right to sell it. Plus, I couldn't put Gordon out of a job. He's been here longer than I've been alive."

She motioned to the plaid-adorned cook, whom stayed facing forwards, raised a hand in a half-committed wave and then stalwartly grunted.

Alvin chopped at the last bits of his omelet, then dabbed his gooey biscuit in the leftover creme. It was a fantastic meal, he remarked to himself. Such a shame he had to eat it alone.

"Well you've got a great diner, here. Very retro! Where did the name come from?"

Her skirt revolved with the gyrating stool; Juniper apparently had a fancy for spinning around on them.

"When my mom and dad first met, they were on a dock in the middle of a lake. They sat on the edge of that dock and talked all night. My dad said the moon that night shone the most piercing yellow that he'd ever seen. Pop took it as a sign that he was in love. I think he was right."

"How long have your folks been gone?"

Juniper glanced away, then back again.

"Three years now. They were in a car accident."

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine how tough that must have been."

"Yeah. I got through it. Figure it's for the best, honestly. At least they were together in the end."

Juniper hopped off her stool and walked behind the counter once again. She cleared Alvin's plate and utensils. A few moments later, she reappeared around the other side.

"So... you've had a rough night, pal. Don't sweat the bill for the meal. It's on me."

A knot formed in Alvin's stomach, swiftly torn from the recesses of uncharted quantum sub-space. Who was this girl? How could she be so sweet to a total stranger?

"I can't just not pay you. That would be rude. I appreciate the gesture, though. I'll be okay, really. Wouldn't be the first date that didn't work out for me."

Juniper swung her arm around Alvin's shoulders and hugged him.

"Your company has been payment enough. Remember -- Wednesday nights are a graveyard 'round here."

Alvin, not wanting her to let go, watched sincerely as Juniper danced past the seats lining the counter. Her feet exquisitely calculating each and every step -- she moved rhythmically with the pounding of his own heart. Trying not to be a deviant, Alvin couldn't help but notice the intricate art adorning Juniper's ankles. Upon each was a pair of tattooed wings, beautifully drawn with multiple layers of detailed black lines.


Alvin's excitement couldn't be contained. He stood from his stool and nearly tripped with feverish trepidation. Rushing to Juniper's side, he embraced her -- not knowing if it was the right thing to do.

She squeezed him back. With her face next to his, she softly whispered into his ear.

"Your mom is marvelous."

Alvin's laughter ripped forth straight from his gut. He couldn't believe how dumb he'd been. Juniper, this wondrous, gorgeous, and altogether cheerful angel had been his blind date all along.

"I didn't want to spoil the fun, Alvie. Plus... who wants to have a regular old first date? Wasn't this much more historic?"

The rejuvenated lad couldn't agree more. This sprightly treasure had been right under his nose the whole time.

"It's amazing the things a guy will tell his waitress, but not his girlfriend. I figured I could get a better read off you this way. Your mother agreed with me. Plus, we thought the surprise would make for a better memory. We'll look back on this when we're old and falling apart. You'll laugh and probably drop your dentures into a bowl of tomato soup."

If Alvin's cheeks had turned any redder, he'd look like he was smuggling light bulbs in his mouth.

"Are you so sure about you and I working out? I'm just some guy who walked into your diner."

Her captivating face paused for a moment and stared at him, suspending time ever briefly.

"Admit it, tiger. You fell in love the moment I gave you the cinnamon."

Juniper bewitchingly winked and gave Alvin a kiss on the cheek.

"You're sweet. Now don't spoil it. Give me your phone number and promise you'll come back tomorrow night for dinner. I'll even let you pay next time."

Alvin spoke without a moment of hesitation.

"I promise."

In the entire history of the human race, never before has a man made a promise so genuine, so pure. With every cell in his body, Alvin meant it.

That night, Alvin walked out of the diner at the edge of town... but he couldn't have been closer to home.

Friday, September 25, 2015

What Is Love?

Love is admitting you're afraid. There's always danger around the next corner. Ghosts from your past may return to hurt you. Insecurities can destroy your confidence. Broken promises can evaporate faith. Yet, love allows a safe space for us to admit what we're afraid of. Manifesting our deepest fears with words is how we conquer them. Bringing them from the darkness into the light gives us hope.

Love is cutting yourself some slack. We all have problems. Some of us are too fat or too skinny; balding or covered in freckles. Some of us have bad acne or a lisp. Some of us have a physical handicap or a major scar. Some of us wear our defects on the inside, never to be seen. Without explanation, love makes all of those frailties and shortcomings okay. In essence, love is the great equalizer.

Love is forgiving mistakes. Admitting that others will mess up is tough, but love allows it to be alright. Money will be lost. Cars will be wrecked. Jobs will be lost. If there's any certainty in life, it is that none of us will have a perfect track record by the end of the race. We've all screwed up, in one way or another. While you have to be willing to forgive others, more importantly... you have to be willing to forgive yourself.

Love is being vulnerable. Opening yourself up to another person is scary as hell. They'll know all of your secrets and inadequacies. This person could damage you in the worst way possible, with no chance of ever fixing it. That's the funny thing about loving someone. It's like being in a relationship with your worst enemy. Every day, you wake up to the possibility of having your heart broken.

Love is courage. Considering how vulnerable love makes us, choosing to care for someone requires fearlessness. As time goes by, an unspoken promise is fulfilled. By choosing to open this door, you're letting everything wonderful and disastrous in this universe simultaneously into your heart. Choosing love is a profound statement of bravery -- I'd rather risk eternal sorrow than go through life without you.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Bluebeard's Wife - A Call For Depicting Women Positively In Literature.

In the fairy tale Bluebeard, a young woman marries a wealthy baron surrounded by a cloud of mystery. All of his past wives have vanished, with no explanation from the titular Bluebeard himself as to their whereabouts. At first, the young maiden is disgusted by Bluebeard and his azure facial hair. Though, by spending vast amounts of money upon her and throwing a raucous party, she soon comes around to his offer of marriage.

Bluebeard gives his wife the keys to his castle. -- Gustave Dore, 1862

Upon completing their vows, Bluebeard leaves his wife alone in his castle. He explains that he must travel to attend to personal business. Bluebeard gives his bride a giant ring of keys, which open every room in his castle. Within these rooms are treasures beyond belief. Yet, Bluebeard makes one request of his wife -- there is one specific room she must never open. Of course, curiosity gets the best of the woman and she unlocks the forbidden room with its respective key. To her horror, she finds the bodies of Bluebeard's past wives hidden inside! Their blood has clotted all over the floor and been scattered across the walls. In her moment of shock, the wife drops the key to the room in the dead wives' blood. By some magical means, she is unable to wash the blood off the key. Without explanation, Bluebeard returns home the next day and asks for his keys. Herein, he discovers his wife's transgression and attempts to kill her, thereby adding her corpse to his collection. At the very last moment, the woman's two brothers burst into the castle and slaughter Bluebeard. The murderous villain's wealth passes to his young wife, whom uses the fortune to pay for her brothers' captains' commissions. She also finances a large dowry so that her sister can finally be married. Finally, Bluebeard's widow marries another wealthy man, whom takes care of her for the rest of her life.

I am both drawn to and disgusted by the tale Bluebeard. Not because I like fairy tales involving dead wives or men with interesting beards, but because this story serves as an important reminder. The entire narrative exists as a means to paint women as untrustworthy, shallow, gold-digging damsels in distress. At no point throughout the story does the wife do anything positive. She at first brushes Bluebeard off because of how he looks. Only after having wealth and excitement lavished upon her does the girl agree to be Bluebeard's wife. Upon inspecting all of Bluebeard's gold, jewels and treasure in the castle, she still has to have more. Her curiosity to open the final room is just too much. She proves to be a jealous snooper with little regard for consequence. Obviously, the wife must be rescued by her two brave brothers; she takes no steps to save herself from a gory fate. In fact, the story is so anti-woman that it doesn't even give the wife a proper name!

Bluebeard preparing to murder his new wife. -- Frederic Lix, Late 19th Century

If there's one thing I've never been ashamed to admit, it's that I'm a colossal proponent of women. They deserve better than to be wilting damsels that are wholly dependent upon men. Nor do they warrant the stereotypical depiction of a meddling, greedy gold-digger; that's completely ridiculous. Bluebeard's wife is perhaps the most hackneyed literary representation of a woman that I've ever read. And yet, that's why the fable of Bluebeard is so important. To understand what women are, you have to comprehend what women aren't.

Women are not superficial.
Women are not greedy.
Women are not weak.

As both an avid reader and a writer, I use Bluebeard's wife much like a barometer of feminism. In reality, women are powerful, independent creatures of magnificence that don't ever need a man to find success and happiness. They deserve to be celebrated in literature, much like Lewis Carroll's Alice or Daniel Defoe's Moll Flanders. A resourceful, self-reliant woman can guide the reader past any obstacle imaginable. Through her leading example, the reader can aspire to become a better person -- woman and man alike.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Fun Ways To Celebrate The First Day Of Fall!

Today marks the first day of Fall. This is the best time of year in my opinion. The days are breezy and pleasant. The nights can be a little chilly, but still comfortable. You get to wear hoodies and long sleeve shirts. The leaves crinkle and float to the ground, making the landscape appear dramatically more interesting. Fire pits eagerly await our campfire tales and roasted marshmallows. Delicious pumpkin ale is ready for our ingestion. In the distance, you can hear the ghosts and goblins coming our way, anxious for Halloween to arrive.

Thank goodness for Autumn, the most wonderful time of the year.

I thought I'd share with you some exhilarating ways to celebrate the arrival of the Fall season.

Take a bath in a tub full of leaves. What better way to experience the season than to feel the dirty leaves from your yard on your naked flesh? Make sure to leave the squirrel feces and acorns in with the leaves as an added bonus! When you're done, just get a plunger and shove those leaves down your drain pipe -- your plumbing will thank you!

Pretend you're a leaf and fall down a flight of stairs. As you gracefully tumble to the bottom, use this valuable opportunity to reevaluate the meaning of life. Why are we here? What is the point? More importantly -- can I survive with a fractured neck and six broken ribs? Score cool guy points for breaking all four of your limbs!

Convince your friends that seasonal beers are sexy! Be sure to drink a few brews on your lunch break. Take your shirt off in the break room and down a fresh pumpkin spice lager. Make sure to draw attention to your large beer belly. For added flair, have a contest to see how many beer caps you can shove in your belly button. That's a sign of strength and superiority! Your coworkers will definitely be talking about you tomorrow morning at the water-cooler. Josie in Accounting will probably ask for your number, too!

Free flaming marshmallows for everybody! Nothing says "Howdy Neighbor!" like a flaming 'mallow on their front porch. Make sure you pull back far enough before flinging your stick forward and launching the fireball of tasty goodness. Be sure to let the marshmallow get nice and crispy to produce a gorgeous burst of flavor-rich fun! Aim for their windows to create a wonderful splatter effect they won't soon forget. You can thank me for this kick-ass idea later.

Start wearing your Halloween costume RIGHT NOW! Don't wait for the last day of October to start enjoying your well thought out costume. You spent a lot of time and energy in developing your outfit. Why waste it on one measly evening of trick-or-treating and drunken debauchery? Wear that costume everyday and all day! Sure, your friends might think you're going insane at first, but after the first week, they'll be sure to come around. For extra awesomeness, refrain from taking the costume off around your family. Your spouse will surely enjoy the break from seeing your face!

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

The Most Gruesome Nintendo Entertainment System Video Games!

Mario, Luigi, Zelda, Kirby, Samus Aran... just a few names that pop up when discussing the original Nintendo Entertainment System. Of the 713 official NES games released in the US and European markets, there are hundreds of quality titles that incite joy, happiness and jubilation... and then there are some that aren't so kid friendly. I present to you some of the gruesomest of all NES games!

Ghoul School - Borrowing some of the plot elements from Class of Nuke'Em High, Ghoul School is all about killing your mutated and demonically possessed classmates. You play as Spike O'Hara, a typical loser with a crush on head cheerleader Samantha Pompom. Of course, the demons kidnap Samantha and only you can save here from a hellish nightmare. Battling your way through an endless puzzle of rooms, you've got to find the right weapons to survive the endless hordes of eyeball monsters, gillmen, zombies, ghosts, snot beasts and killer monkeys. This game is all about putting the monster students down... permanently.

Friday the 13th - This game comes as no surprise. The object is to prevent Jason Voorhees from killing kids. That's right -- an actual NES game where you're trying to stop a child killer. How this ever got published, I've got no clue. The game is notorious for its difficulty, but damn if it isn't fun. More often than not, you're going to die at the hands of Jason -- he's absolutely brutal. For those of you with major gaming skills, you can actually battle the floating decapitated head of Jason's mother for an added bonus. Who knew stopping a child-slaughtering maniac could be so fun?!

Monster Party - Ever want to fight the Wolf Man, Frankenstein's Monster, Count Dracula and a plant creature bearing an eerie similarity to Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors? Then Monster Party is the game for you! You'll battle wave after wave of history's most famous monsters. All the while, the levels are comprised of bleeding skulls, slime pits, dark caverns, haunted Egyptian tombs and more! Another example of the infamous phrase 'Nintendo Hard', Monster Party will definitely satisfy your taste for blood.

Shadowgate - Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! That's all you'll do in Shadowgate, a game filled with a notorious amount of instant deaths and booby traps. This is a point-and-click adventure game, one of the few examples on the NES. In the game, your goal is to prevent the summoning of Behemoth from the literal depths of Hell. You'll have to solve every last puzzle in a near-endless castle before facing off against the devilish Warlock Lord. Be prepared to die a lot. Practice makes perfect!

Zombie Nation - The world has gone to utter crap. America is in ruins. The only force left to save humanity is the floating head of a dead samurai. I kid you not... I can't make this nonsense up. Zombie Nation pits the severed head of Namakubi against the villainous Darc Seed, an alien that has turned most the United States into a land filled with zombies and other monstrous mutants. As Namakubi, you have to blast your way through the undead in four nearly impossible levels of mayhem. Your weapons? Oh... JUST YOUR OWN EYEBALLS AND VOMIT!

Battle Chess - You might be scratching your head at my final example, but I assure you -- Battle Chess is all about sadistic murder. Taking the classic game of wits and strategy and flipping it on its head, Battle Chess actually shows you the pieces killing each other. The multitude of murder scenes are outrageous and hilarious. Watch as the Rook completely flattens the Knight or the Bishop as he slices the King into three pieces! This game is all about watching as many player pieces die as possible -- whether you lose the match or not is almost irrelevant. Death has never been so much fun!

Monday, September 21, 2015

The Triumph Of The Rock Lords!

When you think of the greatest toys from the 1980's, there are many prime examples that would all be worthy of mentioning. Transformers, Thundercats, The Real Ghostbusters, G.I. Joe, Barbie and Masters of the Universe -- each and every one is a winner. But... there is another toy line that's often forgotten about. This series featured sentient robots battling it out on a faraway planet. The toys had unique and often novel designs, each with a distinct personality and profile. Unfortunately... they were robotic rocks.

Of course, I'm talking about Rock Lords.

Oh look... a group of normal, non-menacing rocks!

The Rock Lords toy series began in 1986 as an off shoot of the floundering GoBots line. They were initially presented in the animated feature film GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords. From that point on, the toys received no media support, which definitely hindered any chance for real success. At this time, Hasbro's Transformers were dominating the toy robot market. Tonka, the owners of the sinking GoBots toys, decided the best tactic was to throw rocks at the Transformers. It was most certainly a boneheaded idea, but that doesn't mean the Rock Lords toys themselves weren't fantastic. In fact, they're awesome!

Unsurprisingly, the Rock Lords began their existence as a segment of the Japanese Machine Robo toy line, produced by Popy. Tonka imported them for release in North America, just as Hasbro did with many of the toys in the Transformers series. For example, the Rock Lord we know as Slimestone was originally released in Japan as Magnarock (MR R-5). Each Rock Lord had it's own captivating backstory and design based upon a certain type of mineral or stone. Boulder, the leader of the good Rock Lords, was composed of tungsten. The evil Rock Lord leader, Magmar, was an igneous rock. This was a standard for the entire toy line, creating a dense universal narrative. The characters had weight (literally in some cases) and substance. They weren't just transforming rocks... they were characters that could seemingly come to life in the mind of an imaginative child!

Narligator and Narlizard

Not every character in the Rock Lords toy line was a robotic rock, though. You had the Narlies, which were fuzzy critters whom lived on the Rock Lords' homeworld of Quartex. They were really interesting little toys that featured a unique rolling action feature. Pushing them across a hard surface would activate an internal mechanism, thereby making the Narlies move their mouths and tails.


Also present in the series were the Rockasaurs, a keen mash-up of rocks and dinosaurs. Only two were released -- the flying Terra-Roc and the rhino-like Spike Stone. As a twist on the gestalt combiner concept, the Rock Lords even had their own monstrous dinosaur robot called Fossilsaurus. Four individual Fossil Lords would combine to create the terrifying Rockasaurus Rex! This combiner set is quite hard to find and very valuable on the collector market. Considering how great the Rockasaurus Rex set is, I can understand why. It's a shame more rock/dinosaur hybrids weren't released in this series; they look phenomenal!

Over the course of three series, the Rock Lords tried to invade the hearts and wallets of a robot-crazed consumer base. As a concept, the Rock Lords had a lot of untapped potential. Future series could have explored other metal, alloy and space themes. Unfortunately, the Transformers were just too much of a powerhouse to be stopped. The Rock Lords were squashed, right along with the GoBots. Though, I have nothing but fond memories of the series. The Rock Lords are excellent toys that any fan of the 1980's should celebrate! They'll be remembered for their innovation and willingness to try something different. Even though they weren't a financial success, the Rock Lords can never be labeled as uninspired or lacking merit.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Draw Something: Mushroom Monster

Here's another creeeeeeeepy monster in the Draw Something series. Look out! The Mushroom Monster is coming for you. Better prepare your knives, slice it up and cook it... before it cooks you!

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Without An Umbrella.

Time goes by and I can't stop it. There's no spell I can weave; no magic trick I can pull. Every minute... every second. Time splits into an infinite swirl of variations, forever growing smaller and more divided. Halved, then halved again. Down to the smallest speck of nothingness. The tiniest grain of sand becomes the largest mountain, only to be weathered by the river of eternity. The metamorphosis doesn't end.

And neither do I.

When you've seen a million sunsets, you start to notice the microscopic details. The last rays of light shimmer differently in the corner of your eye. The hazy misgivings of dawn's blissful promise become more evident. In essence, you stop trusting everything the universe has to tell you. In the absence of empyrean fact, what's left to believe? There is only one conclusion to draw from this amaranthine stone. One question left to ask.

Heaven or the hand maiden?

I'd rather surrender the pledge of tomorrow than break my vow today.

Clouds are but the ghosts of those that stayed behind out of love. Rain... the only way to reach out and say "I love you."  Every drop -- a kiss, a brush of my hand against your face, a passing glance in the fading hours. To float below the stars as a silent witness; I won't leave you alone. Forced to watch from the balcony of forever, my view both radiant and agonizing. I have sacrificed the Elysian Fields for you to not spend a solitary moment in desolation.

I would forfeit the dividends of paradise over and over again... just to watch you smile one more time.

When you glance towards the sky, there I'll be. I don't ask for much. Find out what makes you happy. Meet someone new. Make a home filled with love. Travel the world. Have children. Grow old. Be jubilant! Though... every once in a while, take a walk in the rain without an umbrella. Let me hold you for just a little while.

Until then, I will float on.

Friday, September 18, 2015

My Sister is 21! Let's Look At Some Embarrassing Photos Of Her!

Turning twenty-one is a benchmark in a person's life. Everyone feels special when they're finally old enough to buy their own beer. Throughout the years, my little sister has brought so much joy and happiness to our family. She's a cutie pie, a bruiser, a goofball, a talented actress, a singer, a fighter, a friend and perhaps most importantly... my sister. I wouldn't trade you for anything Julie. We love you! Happy Birthday!

I apologize in advance for the photos. :-)

The Item At The Bottom Of The List.

In the weeks leading up to my eighteenth birthday, I can recall my mom making multiple comments to me about buying cigarettes for her when I was out shopping. I'd finally be old enough to purchase them legally, so why not? I'd always respond with a 'no'; I didn't (and still don't) feel comfortable buying them -- they are nasty and disgusting. At the time, I thought she was just joking with me and I brushed the comments off as small talk.

When I turned eighteen finally, I realized my mom wasn't joking.

One evening soon after my birthday, I can remember getting into a big argument with her. I was headed out to buy groceries. She'd written me a shopping list to go by. At the bottom of the list, she'd scribbled in a particular brand of cigarettes. I gave the list back to her, saying that I wasn't going to get the cigarettes. She had the strangest look on her face. I could see the shock of my disobedience quickly turn to anger, though. Her lips drawn tightly to her face, she began to guilt trip me -- I was a bad son whom didn't care about his mom. I finally had to flat-out tell her -- I wasn't going to help her kill herself.

My mom never asked me to buy cigarettes for her again.

Ten years later, mom was dead. A lifetime of smoking had taken her life. I don't feel guilty, though. It was her choice... a choice I never helped her make.

There's no judgment to be passed about the situation. No grand philosophical statement to be made. What's done is done. This is just a memory of mine... one I felt the need to write down.

Mom cutting the cake on her 47th birthday in 2007.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

How To Make Slime!

It's gross! It's nasty! It's basically ghost crap!

That's right... I'm bringing you an excellent recipe to make your own ghastly batch of SLIME! Here's what you'll need.

First Solution
1 Cup of Elmer's Glue
1 Cup of Water
Food Coloring (amount/color optional -- depends on what color slime you want)

Second Solution
1 1/3 Cup of Hot Water
4 teaspoons of Borax

Mix your two solutions separately. Stir both very well before combing. Once you do combine the two solutions together, you'll have a wet, sloppy mess that sort of looks like slime. Make sure to drain off the excess water from the mixture. Kneed the slime mix until it stops sticking to your hands.

I suggest using neon food coloring to make your slime really stand out. Play with the slime in a dark room with a black light to make it eerily glow! Or, make your slime shiny by adding glitter to the mixture.

Ta-da! You've got your very own handful of slime. If you want to store it for further use, be sure to keep it in an air-tight ziplock bag. If the slime becomes too dry, you can add a few drops of water to bring it back to life. Make a bunch and use it for a slime-drenched Halloween party!

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Secret Behind Tarot Cards.

What secrets are hidden inside my box? None, I assure you.

Many of you may not know this, but I learned how to be a Tarot reader about fifteen years ago. Shocking, I know! Now, let me be perfectly honest with you -- Tarot cards have zero enchanted capability whatsoever. The cards hold no mystical power. Tarot can't find your soulmate. Tarot can't predict the future. Tarot can't tell you when you're going to die.

The Tarot is merely a deck of cards with different meanings that can be interpreted to provide guidance. That's it. No magic or psychic ability is required.

I've always found the culture surrounding the Tarot to be very interesting. It was originally developed in the mid-15th century for card games, much like modern playing cards are used for Poker or Blackjack. In fact, playing cards are essentially an offshoot of the Tarot. To this day, Tarot card games are still very popular in many places in Europe, especially France. Tarot cards didn't take on any magical connotation until the late-18th century, when occultists and mystics claimed they could use the cards for spectral purposes.

When used for occult purposes, the Tarot is divided into two halves -- the Major Arcana and the Minor Arcana. The Major Arcana is comprised of 22 non-suited trump cards. They are the most easily recognizable.
  • The Magician
  • The High Priestess
  • The Empress
  • The Emperor
  • The Hierophant
  • The Lovers
  • The Chariot
  • Strength
  • The Hermit
  • Wheel of Fortune
  • Justice
  • The Hanged Man
  • Death
  • Temperance
  • The Devil
  • The Tower
  • The Star
  • The Moon
  • The Sun
  • Judgement
  • The World
  • The Fool
The Major Arcana cards are considered to be the most powerful and convey the greatest meaning. They can have either a positive or negative impact upon a Tarot card reading. Though, these cards shouldn't always be taken literally. Many people fear drawing the Death card, but it usually should be interpreted as something coming to an end, or a change in the status quo -- a new job, a new lover, a move to a new home, etc. Likewise, drawing the Devil card isn't necessarily a sign of evil; it usually represents seeking pleasure and joy, or learning what makes you truly happy.

The Minor Arcana is comprised of 56 cards divided into 4 suits of 14 cards each, ranging from Ace to King. These suits can vary slightly from deck to deck, but most use Wands, Swords, Pentacles and Cups. These cards are said to bear lesser broad influence, but can bring more specific details out of a Tarot reading.

For example, the Five of Cups represents shame and regret. The receiver of the Tarot reading is said to be experiencing sadness from the loss of an important person or object. Yet, the Five of Cups also serves as a reminder that not all hope is lost -- all things can be found once again.

When performing a Tarot reading, it's the job of the reader to interpret the cards pulled as one complete narrative. You must combine the cards into a single message, connecting each card together like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Once linked, the cards can form one comprehensive meaning. Rarely will you ever see a Tarot reading involving a single card. That's like listening to the first minute of a motivational speech, then walking away like you've got the whole gist of it. The more cards drawn, the more detailed a reading can be.

Obviously, the better you are as a Tarot reader, the more personal and helpful your readings can be. Mastery can only be achieved with experience, practice and knowledge of the cards themselves. As is the case with most things, being able to read people is perhaps the most important aspect of a successful Tarot reading. It's all about picking up on a person's tone and body language. Being an instinctive listener is perhaps the first step to being a capable Tarot reader. Applying what you can glean from your subject is key to interpreting the cards themselves.

In the end, Tarot cards are all about providing helpful guidance or advice. Perhaps you're unsure of what to do with your life, or you're questioning a recent financial decision. The key to using Tarot is that the reading must provide confidence and fortitude to the subject. Tarot should never be used in an irresponsible or degrading manner. The reader must use the message to inspire the subject and make them a better person!

As a Tarot reader, I believe letting your subject know that the Tarot is not magic is extremely important. Being upfront about how the Tarot works is imperative. If the subject is paying you for a reading, then these facts are all the more crucial. The power ultimately rests with the subject themselves -- they can (and should) use the reading to improve their own life and make better decisions. Much like reading a book of inspiring quotations or watching an uplifting film, the Tarot is all about encouragement and self-determination! Any payment for services rendered should be viewed from a singular perspective -- you are providing an opportunity of enlightenment for the subject to better understand their own existence.

If you're interested in learning more, or would like a reading, don't hesitate to ask me! I promise -- you won't be tampering with any ghosts or specters behind the veil. They're just cards with pretty images printed on them. The "power" resides in you.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

23andMe DNA Test Results: Health Edition.

I recently submitted a saliva sample to the company 23andMe for genomic testing. They perform DNA sequencing, which provides their customers with a full range of data about their genes. The reason for this testing is two fold. The results provide a complete profile of your ancestral background, as well as a better understanding of potential genetic-based health risks.

Tonight, I'd like to discuss the health side of the results I finally received. I will save the ancestral aspect for another article. To my siblings -- please take specific note of what I'm about to discuss. You are also likely to have the same genetic predispositions to the following diseases and conditions.

Here is what I discovered.
  • Perhaps the biggest risk my genes predispose me to are all forms of cardiovascular (heart) disease. Specifically among them, coronary artery disease. On top of that, I am also prone to Hypertension. While I'm certainly not guaranteed to develop heart disease, my genes make it more likely if I don't take care of myself. Good thing I've already been taking preventative measures for years: consuming Omega-3 fatty acids, eat a low fat/cholesterol diet, don't smoke, etc. As I am now, my cardiovascular system is healthy; I want it to stay that way. My bad cholesterol numbers are well below average and my blood pressure is definitely good.
  • I am definitely at risk for late-onset Alzheimer's and Schizophrenia, no doubt about it. I run the chance of forgetting people and places the older the get. Again, this isn't guaranteed, but I am a potential target. Thankfully, many of the preventive measures I take against heart disease also apply to Alzheimer's and Schizophrenia, along with drinking tea regularly and keeping my mind sharp with mental exercises.
  • I bear the right genetic makeup for Crohn's disease. Though, none of the symptoms are present in my life, so I believe I'm okay. I am more than likely a carrier of the disease, though.
  • Shockingly, I am a carrier of the scarce genetic mutation for a very rare disease -- type 2 neonatal Bartter syndrome. This is a kidney disorder that leaves many infants deathly dehydrated upon birth. Many babies with this disorder simply do not survive.
  • In terms of cancer risks, I am predisposed to Prostate, Lung, Esophageal, Thyroid and Breast cancer. In just a few years, I'll need to begin receiving regular prostate exams because I have a high risk for getting it. Thankfully, I have never been a smoker, so Lung cancer shouldn't ever bother me. Though, it comes as no surprise that my mother and maternal grandfather both succumbed to Lung cancer.
  • I have an elevated risk of developing Meningiomas on my brain and spinal cord. They are small tumors, usually benign, that form on the meninges. Typically, they are not life-threatening and don't always require surgery for removal.
  • I am genetically prone to Alcoholism and Nicotine dependence. Not smoking is a win -- I can't get addicted to a chemical I've never consumed. Controlling my alcohol intake is key, though. I can never go overboard with it. Many of my family members have dealt with the disease.
  • Other diseases my genetics bear a propensity for are ALS, Lupus, Parkinson's and Rheumatoid Arthritis.
  • I have many of the genes present in those whom suffer from Bipolar disorder and Depression. I was previously diagnosed with Depression in 2009, so this came as no surprise. It is under control, though.
  • Another unsurprising discovery -- I have a ton of genes which cause Asthma. One way or another, I was going to have Asthma the moment I was conceived.
  • My DNA contains specific genes found in those with Autism and ADHD. Again, I do not suffer from either of these conditions, but I am a carrier.
  • I was surprised to learn that I have multiple genetic mutations which cause a Cleft lip. I did not have a Cleft lip as a child, nor did I know of any family members that had it. I guess we all got lucky.
  • I have the proper mutations for Graves' disease, which is a condition that affects the thyroid and commonly causes hyperthyroidism. I actually had my thyroid checked last year, with thankfully no bad news to report.
  • Hilariously, it would be near impossible for me to ever develop an addiction to Cannabis. Considering the various cancers I am prone to, I guess this is a good thing. Though, I have Asthma, so I guess I'd have to consider edibles?
This may all come as a shock, but I'm glad I learned this vital information. This knowledge is key to me preventing these conditions later on in life. I can take steps now to improve my chances of living well. For my close relatives and especially my siblings -- I can't suggest how important it is for you to consider doing the same.

I also believe everyone reading this should consider having their own genome tested. If you're interested, please contact me directly. I can provide you with a referral to 23andMe.

Considering the data I learned, it's a good thing I don't want to have children!

Monday, September 14, 2015

Sleepovers, Monopoly And The Dark.

The feeling of nostalgia can have a powerful influence on the past... especially when your memories are filled with an atmosphere of wonder and eeriness. One such memory immediately pops into my mind. While the content isn't necessarily spooky in itself, the mood surrounding it sure is to me. I'll try to invoke it as best as possible.

The year was 1994.

When I was young, I always looked forward to sleepovers with my cousin Dale. He was a guy I looked up to. Cool, confident, talented, great at playing Nintendo. He was my partner in crime for many years. In many ways, he was like the older brother I never had. Sometimes I'd get the opportunity to stay over at his place, which I always eagerly anticipated. His basement was set up perfectly -- a giant television to play video games on, tons of Nintendo cartridges, plenty of room to crash and go to sleep, a little chilly but not damp. It was both inviting and a little creepy at the same time, especially when the lights were turned down low. Being able to stay there was one of the highlights of my youth. I remember those sleepovers with nothing but admiration.

On one such sleepover, there were more than just the two of us. His sister Ashley and our mutual cousin Jessica were there as well. We were all fairly close in age, so we could easily relate to one another. That night, we decided to play Monopoly until the wee hours of the morning. All of the lights in the house were turned low and candles were lit for a truly spectral ambiance. We'd rented a movie (remember VHS tapes and video stores?) to play on the living room television. It was a little known horror movie from 1993 called The Dark. This movie was your basic creature feature -- a monstrous rodent tunnels below a cemetery to consume the recently deceased. Within the film, a cop is trying to kill the monster, while a scientist is trying to save it. Why? The rat monster apparently secretes a powerful healing slime. No... I'm not making that plot up. It was a Canadian horror movie starring a pre-Party of Five Neve Campbell in one of her first roles -- go figure.

The Dark - a movie so bad, it's still not on DVD.

Anyway, we popped the tape in at some point after we had started to play Monopoly. I can recall how the atmosphere in the house progressively became so macabre. The combination of the dim lights, candles and the horror movie made the evening all the more memorable. I was young; just a teenager with all of my life ahead of me. There we were -- staying up way past our bedtime and living our lives to the fullest.

Sure, Monopoly and a horror movie doesn't seem like a very edgy experience, but I was thirteen years old and away from home. It was about as edgy as I got at the time.

I think back to that night often. It's not like anything special happened. We were just kids playing a board game and watching a horror movie. But, maybe that's the point. The mood from that evening was far more important than anything else. Teenage angst and anticipation were in the air. On that evening, the membrane separating the real world from the phantasmal was just a little bit thinner. We were vulnerable. We were turning into adults.

Every time I think about that night, I get goosebumps. I can still feel how I felt that night -- a little bit scared, a little bit restless.

We never finished the game of Monopoly. By the time early morning rolled around, we each started to doze off. One by one, we all retreated to our beds for the night. Just before I went to bed, I can recall standing there in the living room alone and turning the lights off; the last to go to sleep. One by one, the candles went out. Down to the basement I went, with only the orange glow of a bathroom light to guide my way past the stairs. The memory falls into darkness.

If you're reading this Dale, I hope you're well. I miss the time we spent together. Though us growing up seemed to get in the way, you'll always be someone I looked up to. Thanks for that.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Draw Something: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

The movie Ghostbusters is synonymous with the Halloween season. Though Slimer may be the most memorable ghost from the series, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is the most imposing... and the most cute.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Illuminate The Principle.

A flickering river of lost intentions
Fully realized and ready to blossom
Instead, abandoned by the caretaker
Left to rot in a barrel of rainwater
Who, but the ravager of dreams
Clawing to the surface, breaking the calm waves
Emerging from a skin of silk and subterfuge
The guilty party raises their hand first
Alas, the ravine has widened
Filled with a mission and a purpose
But the years are absent, the clocks are all hollow
Boiling in the span of a forgotten afterthought
The carapace is ripped from the flesh
I watched all hope die from the palace terrace
I'd look for the escape hatch if I had a torch
Only the decaying vibrations illuminate the principle
Weary is the witness, wretched is the veiled
So says the moth, bound to hell