A Lane Thief Just Nearly Killed Me.

My life flashed before my eyes today. Thankfully, I'm here to tell you about it.

On two separate occasions in the past year (here and here), I've written about the dangers of Lane Thieves. What are Lane Thieves, you may be asking? For the benefit of my new readers, I'll briefly explain.

Imagine you're driving a motor vehicle and have stopped at an intersection, waiting to turn right (or left depending on your country); it doesn't matter if it's a stop light or stop sign. The road you're on is a single lane with no turn lane. As you're waiting to make your turn at the intersection, allowing for the oncoming traffic to clear, another driver behind you decides to pull along the curb, get beside you and make their own turn. This is a Lane Thief -- they literally steal part of a single lane road as if there are two lanes, thereby passing you on the right (which is a big no-no on its own) and attempting to turn out of sequence. This generates all sorts of accident hazards for the first driver legally stopped at the intersection and waiting to turn.

Yet again, a Lane Thief has struck. This time is different, though... they nearly killed me in the process.

I was driving home just a short while ago. Upon exiting the interstate, I come to an off-ramp intersection exactly like the one in the image above. I have to turn right to get home. While sitting in the middle of the lane with MY RIGHT TURN SIGNAL FLASHING, I was waiting for oncoming traffic from the left to clear before turning right. As I'm sitting there, another driver comes up from behind me, pulls to the right side over the curb and tries to turn. As I'm making my legal turn to the right, this jackass decides to turn right as well.

Picture that for a moment, would you -- two cars from a single lane turning right onto the right side of a road. Obviously, there isn't enough room for the both of us.

There is a large truck stop at this particular exit, with tractor trailers coming and going all the time. As I'm completing my turn and realizing that there's another driver to my right, I have to think fast. Why? Because there's an oncoming tractor trailer on the left side of the road and I'm being gradually pushed over the solid yellow line by the lane thief! I put my foot into the accelerator to speed up and get past the danger. What does the lane thief do? Accelerate even faster and keep shoving me into the oncoming lane -- this guy is purposefully trying to kill me at this point.

As the tractor trailer looms closer and I'm stuck in the wrong lane, I have to think fast again. I steadily press hard into my brakes, but not so hard that I lose control of my Jeep. The lane thief to my right zooms by, nearly taking my mirror off. The tractor trailer to the left blows past me, nearly turning me into roadkill. And there I am... just a guy trying to make a simple right turn at an intersection, less than a mile from my house.

Folks, this is the kind of crap I put up with from society. Many of you wonder how I can be so angry with human beings.

IT'S BECAUSE YOU DUMB SHIT-HEADS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!

Please, for the love of all that's good and decent in this world, don't be a LANE THIEF! You're going to get someone killed. I want you to remember this story the next time you attempt to steal a lane.

To the guy in the silver Dodge Caravan that nearly killed me... I hope your genitals are ferociously snapped off by a rusty bear trap.

When You're a Cop, Following the Law Is Optional.

Back in January, I featured a blog as part of my Grinding My Gears! series entitled Lane Thieves. I discussed the tendency of many drivers I encounter at intersections to steal the lane, thereby occupying one lane as if there were two. I also discussed the potential danger this creates. Today's blog is a small addendum to that original article.

This past Saturday, I encountered a local deputy sheriff whom performed this very act. While stopped at a four-way signal light with a single lane, a deputy in a marked police cruiser passed me on the right, occupied the edge of the lane and part of the shoulder at the intersection; he obviously wanted to turn right. He was so close to the right side of my vehicle that I could see the images on his laptop screen. I was turning right as well and had my turn signal activated. A vehicle was coming from my left towards the intersection (they had the green light), so I was yielding to them before turning right. Before that vehicle could pass through the intersection, this deputy had pulled beside me and whipped ahead. In doing so, he not only illegally passed me on the right, but also cut the oncoming vehicle off and caused them to have to slow down. This deputy did not have his emergency lights activated, nor did he engage a siren. In short... he was just being an impatient douche bag with no regard for the law he supposedly upholds.

What if I hadn't seen the deputy and attempted to complete the turning maneuver to the right? He would have caused me to hit his vehicle, hence why you're not allowed to pass a vehicle on the right in the United States. What if the oncoming vehicle from the left couldn't slow down in time and rear-ended the deputy's car? This officer of the law created the potential for not one, but two vehicular accidents.

It's no surprise that drivers in North Carolina are so terrible. Even police officers fail to follow the rules of the road; neither do they enforce the law. The cops are bad drivers. The citizens are bad drivers. Nearly everyone in North Carolina is a bad driver!

To put it mildly -- many cops are just vulgarians with a badge and a superiority complex. You know it, I know it and they know it.

Grinding My Gears! - Lane Thieves

Good evening everyone! I'd like to start a new series of articles here called...

On today's Grinding My Gears!, the topic is Lane Thieves.

Have you ever come to a single lane stop sign or traffic light while driving, only to be suddenly surprised on your left or right by some pushy ignoramus wanting to turn at the same time? It's as if they think there are two turn lanes at the stop, when in fact there is only one single lane. Are they even paying attention to how the road is (or more importantly is NOT) divided? 

I encounter fools like this all the time at a local shopping center. Those of you whom live close to me will surely know what I'm referring to.

Click for a larger image.

At the local Alamance Crossing Shopping Center, there is a three-way stop in front of Target. The traffic that is traveling out of the shopping center has a stop sign, as seen in the crudely drawn map above (click it for a bigger image). All vehicles must yield to the incoming traffic, which does not stop (though some idiots do -- DON'T STOP). On busy days, the outgoing traffic can back up quite a ways, making it very difficult to escape the shopping center. On multiple occasions, including today, I have encountered an idiot whom thinks there are two lanes at the stop sign.

There is only one lane per side of the road in this shopping center. Two cars can not stop at the sign at the same time. If you try to pull beside another car already waiting at the stop sign, it causes confusion and potentially an accident (of which I know of two that have happened in this exact location). Just because a lane is wide enough to accommodate two vehicles does not mean two can stop and wait to turn or go straight.

Whenever I approach a stop sign or light, I purposefully try to occupy as much of the lane as possible. This is to prevent another jerk-wad from pulling by me on either side and trying to turn when I do. This has annoyed some drivers in the past, especially in the case of this particular shopping center stop. While the entire line of cars in front of and behind me will keep to the far right of the lane (which allows morons to try and pull two wide at the stop sign), I drive down the very center of the lane. That's nearly a full car width out of line with the other drivers, but it prevents the Lane Thieves from breaking common traffic laws. I've been cursed and had horns honked at me, but I don't care. Quit enabling assholes, I say.

You know why most folks don't like me coming to stop signs the proper way? Because they would try and pull up at the same time, just like every other crappy driver.

What these fools fail to realize is this...

Only one car per lane at a time can make an action at a stop (unless there are designated turn lanes, of course). If two cars try to make an action at the same stop in the same lane, then they run the risk of blinding the other driver's line of sight. They might not see a turning vehicle from another lane. Or, they might cause another lane's driver to make an improper motion, thereby inhibiting traffic flow or incurring an accident.

So stop pulling up beside other drivers at single lane stop lights and signs, would you? You're being a self-absorbed nitwit.