Friday, March 4, 2016

The Absolute Dumbest eBay Customer Ever.

In my line of work, I cross paths with lots of people. Most are average, decent human beings. A few can be a little obtuse. And sometimes, I encounter a special breed of idiot. One that transcends the normal boundaries of moronic behavior. A person so stupid... I'm surprised they know how to breathe oxygen.

This story is about one of those idiots.

Last week, I sold a Transformers Bumblebee toy to a person in California. My store front is on eBay, so transactions are processed through their web interface. As with all buyers, their shipping address is provided to me by eBay based upon the personal information entered by the customer.

Who knew that this Transformer toy would cause one person so much trouble?

A few days after shipping Bumblebee to the buyer, it was returned to me. The post office had marked the package as 'not deliverable' due to an insufficient address. I double-checked that the address I shipped the package to matched the one provided to me by eBay; they were identical. Logically, this implied that the address entered by the customer was incorrect.

Now here's where things got interesting.

I messaged the buyer and explained that the address they provided must have been incorrect in some manner, due to the package being returned to me. I asked them to confirm their shipping address so that I could mail the box to them one more time. The customer, whom I'll refer to from here on out as Ms. Bag of Rocks, wrote back. Quickly, I noticed the discrepancy -- this customer failed to give eBay their specific apartment number. Never mind the fact that Ms. Bag of Rocks misspelled her own name and provided a zip code with only three of the five numbers when confirming her address... but I digress.

After having the customer pay for the second round of shipping (I normally ship for free, but this was the customer's error), I sent the package again. The package was mailed on Monday, February 29, 2016 and arrived Thursday, March 3, just three days later.

This morning, Friday, Ms. Bag of Rocks sent me a message.

"Did you send it yet? Or can u send a tracking number pls"

All of my packages come with tracking for free, which I give to my customers on eBay. The tracking info is attached to the purchase history and is plainly visible. See the image below for an example.

Click image to enlarge.

The tracking info showed that the post office placed the package in their mailbox on Thursday. And yet, Ms. Bag of Rocks wanted to know where it was. I reiterated the tracking information and suggested they look in their mailbox, as quoted below.

"Yes I already sent it. The tracking number is attached to your purchase in your eBay dashboard. The tracking information shows that it was delivered yesterday to your mailbox."

Twelve hours pass, with no response.

A few moments ago, Ms. Bag of Rocks contacted me back. They said...

"I m a lil consern about it cause i havent recive anything?"

Ignoring the atrocious spelling and grammar, I replied with...

"The post office tracking info says the package was delivered at your mailbox. Have you checked your mailbox? If the package is not there, take the tracking number to your local post office and they will assist you."

Notice the key question I asked there? "Have you checked your mailbox?" I can't believe I had to ask such a question, but it's a good thing I did. Ms. Bag of Rock's reply was...

"How big is it? No i havent yet"


How does this person imagine the mail works? Do fairies deliver packages magically onto your lap while you aren't looking? WHAT THE HELL! If you're looking for a piece of mail, wouldn't your mail box be the FIRST place you would look before contacting the sender and asking where the package is?

I have officially met the stupidest person I'll ever do business with.

This customer has yet to write me back. Perhaps they fell into a bird bath and were savagely eaten by wild pigeons. Either way, this customer really takes the cake.

Ms. Bag of Rocks, you're officially the dumbest eBay customer of all time, and perhaps the...

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