Draw Something: Ocular Astro Zombie

Coming soon to a theater near you. Something so terrifying, so disgusting, so obviously a guy in a rubber suit that you'll crap your pants (but you'll probably laugh hysterically).

Attack of the Ocular Astro Zombies!

Oh man, this would be a terrible movie. That's just my kind of flick!

Draw Something: Mummy

That fact that today is Mother's Day is complete by coincidence. I just felt the urge to create a mummy today (probably because I played Castelvania last night). Literally... no pun intended.

Draw Something: The Friendly Kappa

The kappa meets all three requirements for being cool.

• Is it a monster?
• Is it a turtle?
• Is it from Japan?

Yes. Yes. Y-E-S!

Kappas are creatures bound in ancient myth. Said to warn children about the dangers found along the banks of rivers and lakes, the kappa is both terrifying and beloved. Their history is beside the point, though. I just think they look cool.

Draw Something: Kraken

I've been sketching nature and wildlife for the past month in my Draw Something series. This week, I'm keeping my subject in the realm of the wild, but depicting a creature slightly more fantastical. I took a bit of inspiration from the Kraken featured in the classic '90s 'Monster in My Pocket' toy series.

Release the Kraken...

Draw Something: B-Movie Crab Monster

If there's one genre of films that I genuinely enjoy, it's cheesy B-movie creature features. A ton of these movies were released in the '50s and '60s, such as The Blob, 20 Million Miles to Earth, Forbidden Planet and This Island Earth. I drew inspiration for tonight's Draw Something installment from these old monster movies. Here's a goofy crab monster. All it needs is a damsel to be rescued!

Draw Something: Killer Corndog Monster

In honor of my story published last night (which you can read here), I thought I'd craft my own whimsical interpretation of a mutated, ravenous, altogether evil Killer Corndog Monster. This is one meal that BITES BACK!

CHOMP!

Draw Something: Sludge Worm

Imagine being forced to swim through a foggy, muck filled bog. Creepy crawly creatures are swimming all around you. They're covered in slime and eager for a meal. Before you can escape the putrid landscape, you come face to face with the dreaded Sludge Worm!

Yeah, you wouldn't want to meet this beast alone in the dark.

Draw Something: Do You Like My Mask?

Only a few weeks from Halloween and the spook factor is steadily rising in my art pieces. Look at this poor fellow... he's not sure if you'll like his mask or not. Isn't he... scary?

The Creature From The Black Lagoon Gill-Man Costume.

You can't talk about the classic monsters of cinema without mentioning the Gill-Man. The eponymous Creature From The Black Lagoon possesses a devilish alien physique, but somehow still exudes a sympathetic human quality. It's an iconic, unforgettable design that has carried the Creature's legacy far beyond the three films he starred in during the 1950's. Just think -- it's over fifty years later and I'm writing about the Gill-Man, a rubber-suit monster from a black and white movie, on the internet. That's the definition of notoriety and awesomeness.

The Gill-Man suit was designed by Millicent Patrick, though for many years she went uncredited for her work. What most may not realize is that Patrick also created the aliens from It Came From Outer Space (1953), the mutants from This Island Earth (1955) and the monstrous villains from The Mole People (1956), among many other film fiends. Her ability to design impressive and catchy monsters for film was second to none. For that, all fans of classic horror should collectively say a big thank you to Patrick.

There were multiple Gill-Man suits produced for the three Creature films. All were produced from foam rubber, which made the suits very light and flexible. This was especially necessary for the underwater scenes. For the water sequences, actor, stuntman and champion swimmer Ricou Browning performed without the aid of an air line. He's reported to have been able to hold his breath for up to four minutes, thereby making the Creature's swimming seem more authentic. Had bubbles been leaking out of the suit, I can't imagine how that would have affected the Creature's on-screen presence.

Because the Gill-Man suits were made from foam rubber, they do not still exist. Foam rubber breaks down over time due to exposure to the air. Eventually it falls to dust. If you ever come across a memorabilia retailer claiming to have all or part of an original Gill-Man suit, then it's a fake. Alas, no original Gill-Man suits still exist, but that's alright. The Creature is forever preserved in all its cinematic glory on the silver screen!

For further information, check out the following links!

Horror Icon: Millicent Patrick

An extensive interview with Ben Chapman, the actor whom played the Gill-Man during the out-of-water scenes in Creature From The Black Lagoon.

Draw Something: The Beast Within

I was originally going to draw an old-fashioned ghost for this installment of Draw Something. If you look at the basic form of this drawing, you can see where I was sort of headed. After laying the foundation, I realized that I wanted to create something more complex, but wasn't sure what. So, I just let it flow. This is what came out. No planning or conceptualization was involved. All in all, I'm fairly happy with the finished product. My favorite aspect is how the outer face/mouth almost looks like a cloak for the skeletal monster within-- very Escher like!

Draw Something: Floating Eyeball Monster

This makes two consecutive monsters in my Draw Something series! Not sure where I got the inspiration for this, but I had the sudden urge to sketch a giant eyeball. Oddly, the tedious, sinewy nerves were the most fun part to draw. I'm quite proud of the overall result! 

Draw Something: Mushroom Monster

Here's another creeeeeeeepy monster in the Draw Something series. Look out! The Mushroom Monster is coming for you. Better prepare your knives, slice it up and cook it... before it cooks you!

Creepy Videos From The Internet!

Now that September is finally here, it's time to start getting into the Fall mood. Yes... the time of year for spooky ghosts and horrific monsters has finally arrived.

YES!

As a way to get everyone into the spirit, I thought I'd share some creepy videos with you. Give them a watch and feel your skin crawl. Better yet, do it with a cup of tea and the lights turned down low. Enjoy!

What Would I Put In My Nostalgic Man Crate?

I was recently asked by Alex, one of the fine folks at Man Crates, to share my ideas for a classic Nostalgia-themed gift crate. They're a new company that provides awesome gifts for men that come in wooden crates which need to be opened with a crowbar!

"The idea is for you to tell us all about your personal memories in a post on your blog. If it wasn’t Ferris Bueller, what other movies were always in your VCR?  What was the one gift you always wanted for your birthday, but never seem to come your way?  We want to hear what items you would want in a nostalgic crate."

Of course, I was happy to oblige. This is squarely in my wheelhouse! So, what would I personally insert into a nostalgic crate? Here are six things that would definitely gain entry into my sentimental Man Crate box of goodness.

Remember when 'King Size' candy bars were actually King-sized?

1. Zero Candy Bar - By far, this is my most favorite sweet treat. I must have consumed at least one a week when I was young. It was my grandfather whom introduced me to the Zero Bar. Being that my grandparents lived in a rural area with not much to do, we would take joy rides to the local (meaning only) gas station. He'd always give me a few dollars to spend once there. This usually entailed getting a soda pop, some trading cards (more on that in a moment) and a candy bar. On our first trip, he recommended a Zero Bar. This is one deceptively delicious candy bar. It breaks away from the standard chocolate-covered candy bar trend. Instead, an eye-catching white chocolate coating hides an almond-nougat, peanut and caramel center. The taste is something I can't quite describe... but oh is it so good. It amazes me how so few people have ever heard of the Zero Bar. But, if you know where to look, you can easily find it (Amazon, Hershey's Store).

2. Garbage Pail Kids Trading Cards - As mentioned with the Zero Bar, I also regularly obtained tradings cards in my youth. Make no mistake, the Garbage Pail Kids were the absolute best. Dead Ted, Roy Bot, Grim Jim, Spikey Mikey and Soured Howard -- my list of GPK favorites could go on and on. For an odd chap like me, Garbage Pail Kids was a celebration of the ironic, morbid and weird. Each pack held within it a creative, gut-busting surprise that brightened my day every time. Thankfully, GPK cards are still in production by Topps to this day and can be purchased via their web store or in person at your local department store.

3. Godzilla - If there's one thing I enjoyed as a kid, it was monster movies. I still do, to be honest. Godzilla isn't called the King of the Monsters for no reason; he's trashed every giant mutant freak from Tokyo to Toledo! The Big G is an icon to millions of people worldwide, especially to the young and young at heart. Perhaps one of the most interesting pieces of Godzilla-themed memorabilia I've seen recently is the NECA Reel Toys 12" Classic Video Game Appearance Godzilla Action Figure. It comes in a special window box which recreates the original retail packaging of the actual Nintendo Entertainment System Godzilla video game. The figure is decorated in a very pixelated manner, mirroring how Godzilla looked in the game. How cool is that?! Speaking of video games...

4. Final Fantasy - When it comes to the most deeply enthralling, thought-provoking video game of my childhood, Final Fantasy holds that honor. Role Playing Games (RPGs) were my favorite genre of video game growing up. An RPG requires intelligence, skill and strategy to be successful. The Final Fantasy series encompassed all the elements of a superior RPG... and more. I was lucky enough to receive the first Final Fantasy game on the Nintendo Entertainment System as a child. As to Final Fantasy II for the Super Nintendo, I only ever had the chance to borrow it from a friend for a short time. I never even held a copy of Final Fantasy III until I was an adult with my own career and income. As I grew older, I came to realize that Final Fantasy II was actually Final Fantasy IV, just with a new name for the North American market. The same goes with Final Fantasy III, which is really Final Fantasy VI. There were three other Final Fantasy games released in that era that never even made the trip from Japan to America. Thankfully, Final Fantasy I through VI have all since been re-released in one form or another over the years. Yet, if you want to play the original Final Fantasy, you can still find used copies for less than $20. Score!

5. Combos - The preferred snack food of choice in my youth was certainly Combos. Those tiny little treasure troves of taste were AWESOME! I can remember enjoying nearly every flavor available back then -- Cheddar Cheese, Pizza and the long since discontinued Peanut Butter (bring it back please!). Combos are still in production and distributed by Mars, Inc., much to the elation of everyone!

"Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke."

6. The Blue Brothers - This isn't even up for debate. If one movie is going into my customized Man Crate, then it has to be The Blue Brothers. I watched this movie non-stop as a kid. The car chases, the music, the witty one liners and non-stop hilarity... I love this movie more than any other. My original copy of The Blue Brothers was a poorly recorded, formatted for television copy on a blank VHS tape. In the early '90s, I finally managed to receive an actual, official VHS copy. Rapturously, The Blues Brothers has since received the proper treatment on DVD and ultimately Blu-Ray many times over. Recently released was the very classy Blu-Ray Steelbook Edition of The Blues Brothers, featuring both the theatrical and extended cuts of the film in marvelous high definition. Hit it!

So there you have it, my friends. Six wonderfully nostalgic things from my youth that I'd insert into my very own Man Crate. Perhaps they'll use some or all of these ideas for a future release. Either way, I'm very thankful to Alex for reaching out to me. Here's to celebrating our memories and making new ones!

Top Five Favorite Godzilla Foes.

I love Godzilla.

No... I mean I R-E-A-L-L-Y love Godzilla.

I have every Godzilla film on DVD. I've got posters and vinyl characters and action figures. Hell, I even have a rare set of Godzilla nesting dolls! Over the past fifty years, Godzilla has battled some mighty powerful enemies. Ranging from robots to aliens and everything in between, the Godzilla Rogues Gallery is packed full of awesome combatants. This list is a countdown of my five favorite Godzilla Foes. Please note that kaiju whom have historically been allies of Godzilla are not included on this list (like Anguirus or Mothra). Here we go!

5. Titanosaurus - Even though he's only had a starring role in one film, Titanosaurus is no push-over. He appears in the 1975 film Terror of MechaGodzilla. In actuality, Titanosaurus is a peaceful monster. Leave it to a mad scientist with the power of mind control to turn him evil. His ability to stand toe-to-toe (claw-to-claw?) with Godzilla puts him on this list. He proved that he could dish out just as much punishment as Godzilla. Not to mention, he's an aquatic-based creature, which is something I can really dig. All the while, Titanosaurus sports one of the best kaiju designs from the Showa era.

4. Gigan - If there's a bully in the Godzilla Universe, it has to be Gigan. For lack of a better word, Gigan is a total jerk. He behaves like a schoolyard tyrant and treats everyone around him with little regard. Ultimately, you grow to love the giant robotic chicken-esque monster because he's just so darn terrible. Gigan has appeared in numerous films over the years. He is definitely a force to be reckoned with -- blades for hands, a giant laser eye and a chainsaw blade in his chest. Yeah... you don't want to meet Gigan in a dark alleyway at night. His last appearance in 2004's Godzilla: Final Wars was outstanding.

3. Destoroyah - Even though Destoroyah isn't my number one favorite Godzilla foe, he's definitely the most dangerous. From the 1995 film Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, this kaiju is a demonic mutated juggernaut. Formed from the combination of much smaller crab-like monsters, whom combine into a larger monster, whom then grows into a larger monster... whom then grows into a GIGANTIC final monstrous form -- Destoroyah is evolution in action. He features more spikes than you can care to count, a horn blade on his head, powerful wings, a pincer tail, claws and a killer energy blaster that comes OUT OF HIS FRICKIN' CHEST! Godzilla has a tough time fighting him, even in his final "meltdown" form. If not for the intervention of his human allies, Godzilla didn't stand a chance. For that reason, I consider Destoroyah the one monster that Godzilla probably can not beat alone.

2. SpaceGodzilla - One any given day, I might switch my number one and number two choices. They're nearly tied when it comes to being my favorite Godzilla villain. SpaceGodzilla is everything Godzilla can be, plus more sheer power and intelligence (probably the smartest of all). On top of that, SpaceGodzilla can levitate and fly. Cloned from the DNA of Godzilla's foe Biollante (whom you'll see in a moment), SpaceGodzilla is a more massive version of Godzilla whom is covered in crystal spikes. They did battle in 1994's Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla. It took the combined might of Godzilla and the robot M.O.G.U.E.R.A. to bring SpaceGodzilla down.

1. Biollante - This is it... the most terrible of all Godzilla foes. Biollante isn't menacing at first. Thanks to some shared genetics from a plant, a human and Godzilla, she begins life as a mutated rose monster. Yes, I said rose. Before long, though, Biollante morphs into a hulking mass of tentacles, tendrils and plant matter. Biollante is far bigger than Godzilla. She's so much bigger, in fact, that she tries to swallow Godzilla whole. Biollante does major damage to Godzilla, in so far as she burns part of his face and chest off with a toxic radioactive acid spray. Combined with her size, killer tentacles with razor sharp teeth and a thunderous level of strength that just won't quit, I think Biollante is Godzilla's greatest foe. By the end of the 1989 film Godzilla vs. Biollante, the two manage to battle to a stalemate. Eventually, Biollante dissipates and floats off into space (where her essence is later used to create the menacing SpaceGodzilla).

As to my question yesterday about the origin of Godzilla's trademark roar, it was first created by rubbing a leather glove over a double bass instrument. The glove was first coated in pine-tar resin to create the signature sound.

Caged.

I am completely and utterly ashamed of myself.

Just a short while ago, I exploded with furious rage at my sister. The reason why I uncontrollably erupted is irrelevant. My actions were without merit. She, nor any other human being, deserves to be yelled at and berated in such a manner. My behavior is solely of my own choosing - no excuses.

I am a monster. I always have been. I find myself circling back to the beginning of this very blog. There's a caged beast of frenzied indignation just fuming inside of me - shaking the bars of its cell, grabbing at any who come near. Like a rampaging gorilla locked in a prison, it sits inside of me and waits in the darkness. Waits for the right moment to strike. Waits to destroy.

This guy gets me.

If ever there were a real life Bruce Banner / Hulk, it would be me.

For years, I shielded my younger siblings from the anger erupting from my father. No one deserved to deal with such horror, but at least I was best-equipped to handle the beast and absorb the blows. Now, as an adult, I spew forth that same atrocious bitterness, often times upon the very ones I love the most. What's wrong with me? Did I not see what such gross negligence could lead to? Just as an idiot whom keeps touching a hot stove, I now tread the very ground I so desperately tried to avoid all those years ago.

Am I doomed to become my father? No matter how much I struggle and squirm against the past, is there nothing I can do? Am I genetically predispositioned to morph into that which I came from? It's all just mind-boggling. And now... I'm left sitting here alone. I feel emotionally empty inside. Not angry or sad, just ashamed. The Hulk has returned to his cage and I'm left to clean up the mess he made.

I'm certain that I've done a better job of controlling my anger this past year. Yet, it seems that when the beast does manage to get out, the havoc is many times worse. This is a perfect execution of the quantity versus quality debate. Which is worse? More frequent outbursts of lesser severity? Or less frequent outbursts of greater severity? Either way, the balance remains unaltered. That anger is still inside of me. The underlying problem has not been fully corrected. I'm still on a course towards emotional oblivion.

I really need to right this ship before it's too late.

Julie... I'm sorry. You deserve better.

Fumbling and stumbling.

If I've learned anything from the last week, it's that I usually fail to recognize when I'm enraged. When I'm caught up in a moment of anger, I have a hard time seeing that I'm mad. Instead, I usually feel remorse after the fact when I've calmed down. This has taught me one thing - I must learn to recognize anger as it happens, process if it is logical, then calm myself down. Here's one example...

Earlier this week, I went for a bike ride as I do normally. As many of my friends know, I've started to ride a bike in order to lose weight. My large size is quite hard on my bike (just as hard as the riding is on my joints, but that's another story). Needless to say, lots of things will malfunction on my bike and require regular maintenance. Take my handlebars of instance. Regularly, they will rotate downwards as I ride the bike; so much so that the break grips will pitch straight up. At that point, I can't even use the breaks because I can't reach them. It seems no matter how hard or often I tighten the handlebar joint, they'll still eventually slip and rotate. Well, I reached my breaking point this week and lost my cool. I couldn't get my allen wrench into the handlebar socket to tighten it back down. After fumbling and stumbling, all the while getting madder and madder, I finally flipped out. I was already mad before I even attempted to fix the handlebars; my ride was totally uncomfortable and both of my wrists were screaming in pain.

Now imagine this next part...

I literally ripped my shirt off, hurled my water bottle and stormed off inside my house. I left everything in my bike bag - phone, wallet, keys, everything. I finished stripping, hopped in the shower and just let it all out.

I WAS A TOTAL MESS.

The take away from all this? I let my anger get the best of me. I 'hulked' out over nothing. Instead of staying calm and getting the right size allen wrench to fix the handlebar, I probably had the wrong size. Much less, I was letting my pain and frustration manifest in a manner that's not positive. What did I have to show for acting like a jerk? Nothing. This got me to thinking. What could I do to remind myself that my anger is in control WHILE I'm actually caught up in the moment? I need some sort of visual cue to tell myself that I'm not in charge at the moment. I'm still trying to decide what to use in order to cue myself. If any of my readers have suggestions, they're totally welcomed.

On a partially related side note, I came to see that my lifelong weight problem is absolutely linked to my emotional distress. The extra weight that I carry is a physical representation of my emotional baggage. As long as carry this extra weight, the emotional baggage that I carry will continue to haunt me.

I'm a thirty year old fat guy with daddy issues. Crazy, right?

Mental booby trap.

I experienced what I can only relate as an "emotional panic attack" this weekend.

This past Saturday, I traveled to the Triad Highland Games in Greensboro. Being my first ever Highland Games experience, you'd think I'd be ecstatic. Those of you that know me understand my fervor and excitement for my Scottish heritage. Scotland is like my home away from home - a dream destination that I hope to visit and/or move to one day.

"Slàinte mhath!"

Needless to say, the event did not go as well as I planned. Instead of being happy and excited, I was miserable. Looking around at all the history and culture that I mentally swim in almost daily... I just locked up. Oddly enough, I grew distant and became horrible company to keep. I resorted to being short and snippy with people. The sad part? I didn't even know I'd morphed into a vile monster until after the fact. In the midst of my ass-hat extravaganza, I was unaware that I'd channeled a pool of dread into my demeanor.

And there I was - pushing away people that cared for me and wallowing in my own anger.

Eventually, I fell out of my funk after watching border collies chase sheep for forty five minutes. As if in a stupor, my anger switched to guilt and I emotionally turned off. By the time I made it to lunch, I was an emotional wreck. Trying to hold myself together, I felt it bubbling up.

And by it, I mean my age-old sense of never being good enough for my father.

It just kind of spilled out of me while I was driving. I can't fully explain why I had this "emotional panic attack", but it felt like I wasn't deserving of enjoying my love for Scotland. The fact that I attempted to assimilate into the Scottish culture more directly sprung a mental booby trap. Better yet, a demon reared its head and said "No, you don't GET to be happy. You must SUFFER!"

"Suffer my boy! Mwahahahahahahahah!"

I realized at that moment that I'm thirty years old and not fully capable of letting myself be happy. Why? Because I'm still trying to satisfy a tyrant that lorded over me as a child. I must admit - it takes a POWERFUL man to control your life long after you've exiled them from it. Therein reflects the hold he has upon me. I can't let myself be happy because I was never given the command to do so. It sounds strange, I admit. If anything... I just feel guilty and ashamed for letting it get to me. Jared Manning - a passionate bastion of strength and independence... and I can't even allow myself a moment of joy. I punish and torment myself every day. Over what, though?

What did I do to deserve this hell?

The torment spilled over into Sunday. More of the same emotional distance was in order. I floated in and out of concentration, even when performing simple household tasks. I couldn't even cut carrots and make dinner without feeling empty and utterly pathetic.

Someone very dear to me levied a powerful judgment over the weekend. They suggested that I am self destructive when I reach for happiness.

Were they right?