I'm (Still) Surrounded By Idiots.

Oh joy! I have had the opportunity to spend even more time with idiots today, except this time in person!

While taking my morning exercise route through the park next door, I was approached by a pack of teenagers with pamphlets. There were a bunch of folks playing baseball at the park this morning, so I assume this group figured it was a good place to reach a lot of people. I'll let you guess what type of good message they were spreading.

Go ahead...

*crickets*

Of course, these silly teenagers wanted to spread the word of Jesus. They were accompanied by an older man with a giant cross around his neck. Even though I repeatedly turned down their pamphlets and tried to walk away, they just wouldn't stop hounding me. The older gentleman asked me what my problem was.

Today was not the day.

"Are you sure you want to know what my problem is? Here's my problem."

I looked all the teenagers in the face and told them that they were being taken advantage of. I asked them to please think for themselves and analyze the leaders in their life. I also asked them to please challenge the ideas that they blindly follow and evaluate their merits via logic and science, not words from an archaic book. I told the older man that he should be ashamed of himself for leading these impressionable teenagers astray. Finally, I explained that they were extremely rude for approaching strangers in a park with the assumption that their message is the correct one.

As their jaws proceeded to drop, I walked away. Thankfully, they were gone when I looped back through the park on my way out.

Oh, but my day wasn't over yet. I had more idiots to come!

After dropping packages off at the post office, I ventured to the local Tractor Supply to pick up some pine shavings. As if entering into the Holy Corporate Temple of Country Living wasn't bad enough -- the gaudy clothing and country music makes my skin crawl. I grabbed my bag of pine shavings, which weigh a considerable amount (40-50 lbs), and got in line. Of course, the guy at the register is slow and wants to talk with every customer. The first guy in line can't decided which dog tie out line he wants to purchase, so he walks away and leaves his items at the register. The next customer in line looked like he crawled out of a coffin. He fumbled endlessly through his wallet, only to attempt to pay with a credit card he had no idea how to use. Mind you, about ten minutes have passed at this point. I spent more time in line than I did getting the pine shavings! Finally, the living mummy gets done and I move up to check out. But no... the dumb-ass with the multiple dog tie out lines returns and expects to check out immediately. The cashier tells me I have to wait as soon as I approach so he can check this other guy out.

Enough is enough.

I dropped the heavy bag of pine shavings on the floor.

"You are killing me, man. This guy gets out of line because he doesn't know what he wants, and now you want to let him cut back in line in front of me? Do you see how heavy this bag is? What's wrong with you?"

I turned to the guy who wanted to cut back in line.

"You got out of line. Did you even consider the other folks in line that you're holding up?"

I turned and pointed to the long line behind me.

"You see all this people? They waited in line just like I did. You want back in line? Go to the end and wait, just like everyone else."

I looked at the cashier again.

"Now, check me out so I can get away from you morons!"

He checked me out and didn't say a word to me. I had nothing left to say to him. And to think, it's only 1 PM! I still have eleven hours in the day remaining!

Quit Making Excuses.

Now that we're into the month of March, it's safe to say that nearly everyone whom made a New Year's resolution to lose weight has officially given up. They're back to drinking sugary Starbucks coffee by the gallon and straight-lining McDonald's french fries right into their blood stream.

If you're going to guzzle Gatorade, at least exercise hard like the athletes in their television commercials.

Coincidentally, it's also the time of year where people begin making excuses for being overweight and unhealthy.

• I just had a baby.
• My kid(s) made me fat.
• I work too much.
• My hormones are all messed up.
• My metabolism is slow.
• I don't have time to watch what I eat.
• I'm too poor to eat healthy.
• I don't cook my own meals.
• I have X condition that makes me unable to exercise.

I have a message for you -- quit making excuses.

If you are overweight and/or in poor health, then it is (except in rare medical cases) your own choice. I speak from experience. For years, I failed to eat right, didn't exercise and generally disregarded my own physical health. I used food as a crutch for my emotional distress. When I got stressed out, I ate. When I got sad, I ate. When I got angry, I ate. It was my own fault. It wasn't until I was willing to be honest with myself that I could begin to change.

You see, that's the one talent that many overweight people share -- they're really skillful at lying to themselves.

What upsets me even more is the current environment we've crafted within our society that makes it so easy to be overweight. If anything, we now live in a country where you absolutely must accept someone being fat. Otherwise, you're fat shaming them. I'll paraphrase this position:

"How rude of people that are encouraging proper health and exercise. You MUST love me for being fat. Fat is beautiful!"

Ugh. Eat some cauliflower and shut up, would you?

You want to know why you believe fat is beautiful? Because you're too lazy (or unwilling) to improve your physical health. Instead of making a change for the better, you've settled into your obese frame and given up. To make it appear as if that's your own choice, you now want others to accept your girth as a supposed statement of beauty.

Let me be clear -- all people can be beautiful, no matter their physical size. As a heterosexual male, I believe a woman can be 90 lbs., 160 lbs. or 250 lbs. and still be gorgeous and attractive. When I was a single man, I never selected who I dated based upon their size. It just wasn't an issue. You can be overweight and beautiful at the same time. One is not dependent upon the other, though.

If you want to be overweight, then be overweight. That is your choice and I'm okay with that. I will never tear you down or be negative to you over your size. All I ask is that you stop making excuses for your size. Own up to your choice. I'll respect you a lot more if you're just honest about it. And by all means, don't you dare expect others (especially those whom are working to improve their health) to accept your choice as anything but that -- a choice.

Full Disclosure -- I am overweight. I don't want to be a lazy, weak and all around useless fat ass, so I'm working on losing my excess weight. I might have lost more than fifty pounds already in the past year, but I've still got a ways to go. I am not going to give up or make excuses.

Yoga?

I'm as sweaty as a politician taking a lie detector test. Exhausted. Pooped.

That's right... I just got done trying yoga.

Crystal suggested that we attempt a yoga video after our cardio exercises just an short while ago. Let me be perfectly clear...

Heavy people can not do yoga.

Much to Crystal's assertion that it's okay if I can't do the poses, I find the latter to be true. If you're not maintaining the pose as described, is it really yoga at all? Or are you just falling with grace?

The truly hard part though was actually calming myself and sitting in the yoga position. I had to sit in a chair ultimately because my legs would constantly fall asleep. When I'd try to calm my mind and relax, all I could do was laugh. After trying to be calm for what seemed like ten minutes (and fighting off the constant urge to laugh), I finally calmed down. Though, I think I just started to fall asleep.

I'll continue to try and do yoga because Crystal is right. I need to clear my mind and stretch my body out more. My joints are tight and I have no sense of limberness.

But damn if it isn't funny!