Saturday, April 4, 2015

I'm (Still) Surrounded By Idiots.

Oh joy! I have had the opportunity to spend even more time with idiots today, except this time in person!

While taking my morning exercise route through the park next door, I was approached by a pack of teenagers with pamphlets. There were a bunch of folks playing baseball at the park this morning, so I assume this group figured it was a good place to reach a lot of people. I'll let you guess what type of good message they were spreading.

Go ahead...


Of course, these silly teenagers wanted to spread the word of Jesus. They were accompanied by an older man with a giant cross around his neck. Even though I repeatedly turned down their pamphlets and tried to walk away, they just wouldn't stop hounding me. The older gentleman asked me what my problem was.

Today was not the day.

"Are you sure you want to know what my problem is? Here's my problem."

I looked all the teenagers in the face and told them that they were being taken advantage of. I asked them to please think for themselves and analyze the leaders in their life. I also asked them to please challenge the ideas that they blindly follow and evaluate their merits via logic and science, not words from an archaic book. I told the older man that he should be ashamed of himself for leading these impressionable teenagers astray. Finally, I explained that they were extremely rude for approaching strangers in a park with the assumption that their message is the correct one.

As their jaws proceeded to drop, I walked away. Thankfully, they were gone when I looped back through the park on my way out.

Oh, but my day wasn't over yet. I had more idiots to come!

After dropping packages off at the post office, I ventured to the local Tractor Supply to pick up some pine shavings. As if entering into the Holy Corporate Temple of Country Living wasn't bad enough -- the gaudy clothing and country music makes my skin crawl. I grabbed my bag of pine shavings, which weigh a considerable amount (40-50 lbs), and got in line. Of course, the guy at the register is slow and wants to talk with every customer. The first guy in line can't decided which dog tie out line he wants to purchase, so he walks away and leaves his items at the register. The next customer in line looked like he crawled out of a coffin. He fumbled endlessly through his wallet, only to attempt to pay with a credit card he had no idea how to use. Mind you, about ten minutes have passed at this point. I spent more time in line than I did getting the pine shavings! Finally, the living mummy gets done and I move up to check out. But no... the dumb-ass with the multiple dog tie out lines returns and expects to check out immediately. The cashier tells me I have to wait as soon as I approach so he can check this other guy out.

Enough is enough.

I dropped the heavy bag of pine shavings on the floor.

"You are killing me, man. This guy gets out of line because he doesn't know what he wants, and now you want to let him cut back in line in front of me? Do you see how heavy this bag is? What's wrong with you?"

I turned to the guy who wanted to cut back in line.

"You got out of line. Did you even consider the other folks in line that you're holding up?"

I turned and pointed to the long line behind me.

"You see all this people? They waited in line just like I did. You want back in line? Go to the end and wait, just like everyone else."

I looked at the cashier again.

"Now, check me out so I can get away from you morons!"

He checked me out and didn't say a word to me. I had nothing left to say to him. And to think, it's only 1 PM! I still have eleven hours in the day remaining!

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