Sweet Old Lady Morphs Into Hateful Christian Fundamentalist.

There I was, approaching the entrance of Wal-Mart earlier this afternoon and acquiring a shopping basket. An older woman of diminutive stature entered just before I did. She retrieved a sanitary wipe to cleanse her basket's handlebar, then passed me a wipe out of courtesy. It was quite nice of her, I thought; I was going to get a wipe anyway.

She complimented me on the color of my red hair, to which I gracefully responded and explained that it's gotten darker the older I've gotten. Explaining further, my hair used to be a brighter shade of red than my beard is now. Carefully ruffling my beard, I pointed out that my chin hair is starting to turn white. I'm getting older!

Turning to Crystal, the granny asked if she was my girlfriend. I confirmed that she was my spouse, to which the older lady complimented her elegant beauty. I tend to agree; Crystal is gorgeous.

And then... our friendly rendezvous all fell apart.

Her next question was "Do you two have a church at home?"

I felt a lump of disappointment swell in my throat. In an effort to side-skirt the question and politely escape from her crafty claws of entrapment, I stated that there was indeed a church near our home. In this, I did not lie; there are multiple churches within a mile of my house. What followed was a frightening, uncomfortable and altogether unpleasant series of questions and diatribes.

• Crystal and I must uplift each other to better serve the lord.
• We must have children.
• Our future children must have the message of Jesus Christ DRILLED (she said this very emphatically) into their minds, no questions asked. They MUST go to church and they MUST believe, or else.
• We must not have friends whom aren't Christian, otherwise they will drag us to hell.
• Non-believers are definitely not to be tolerated and should not be allowed to live. They're a one way ticket to hell.
• Judgment day is coming, sooner than we think.
• The time for Christians to stand together and defend God from all sinners and non-believers is coming, too.
• We must spread the word of Christ wherever and whenever possible.

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. She transformed from a sweet, innocent old woman into this hateful, fire-and-brimstone witness.

Now you probably know me... I'm an atheist. Typically, I'd have countered this sort of venomous hatred and put her in her place. Considering how old and frail she was, I simply couldn't do it. Honestly, I was worried that anything I'd say in response would literally give her a heart attack or stroke. Imagine how terrified of me she might have been if the nice guy with red hair turned out to be a blasphemous non-believer! The sudden shock could have sent her into cardiac arrest!

So, I bit my tongue, swallowed my pride and nodded in agreement. Slowly inching my basket farther and farther away, I finally saw an opening in her spiel and escaped with a "Have a nice day!" Boy, if she only knew the truth about who she was talking to.

I find it strange how so many people accept this sort of activity as acceptable. Let's swap the roles in this encounter. Pretend I was the one who used a friendly opportunity with a stranger to spread the 'word' of atheism. I'd be held before a judge for disturbing the peace, chastised by the local news and practically run out of town. Thankfully, I can discuss such matters on the world wide web without fear of persecution.

Who really exists behind the mask?

Consider all of the unknown people whom we walk by every day. While out shopping, eating lunch, visiting the library, at school, at work, at the dentist -- how many of those people are Christian? How many are Jewish, Hindu or Muslim? How many are agnostics or atheists? There's a disturbing facade of normalcy that provides refuge to monsters and marauders of free thought from all walks of life. Yet, their particular brand of reality makes it all okay.

I tell you what... I'll never look at another sweet old lady again without wondering if she's a vile fundamentalist whom would rather see me dead.

Today Was Stressful.

Stress has been ever present in my life today. Seems like I have been stressed out since I woke up this morning. Not sure why, but it sure did snowball as the day went along. Today was just one of those days --nothing seemed to go right and everything annoyed me in one way or another.

I dealt with terrible drivers, which is a persistent problem in North Carolina. Folks are absolutely frightening here, with the lack of turn signals, running red lights, cutting other drivers off without warning and swerving from lane to lane. Road rage really boils my anger over at times. This is highly unfortunate, considering I enjoy driving. Being in a car and just moving down the road is therapeutic... but only if I'm not being assaulted by other dumb-ass drivers.

Leave it to a poorly-designed game disc to piss me off. I just purchased a brand new Playstation 3 with a copy of LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham. I've barely had it for a month and of course the game started to act up. After going through a few too many tedious troubleshooting steps, I determined that a single, tiny smudge on the edge of the game disc was to blame.

Grocery shopping, as discussed in my article from a few days ago, has become troublesome. Retailers are raising their prices unnaturally, thereby causing me more stress in trying to locate better deals. I can usually find what I'm looking for, but damn if grocery stores aren't pulling the wool over most consumers' eyes.

Apparently, the local Burlington City Christmas parade is just ten days away on November 21. When I heard the news, I became enraged. Though, I have little reason to be pissed off about this. It's not as if I'm even going to attend the parade. Parades themselves send me into fits of anger. Yet, having a Christmas parade a week before Thanksgiving really grinds my gears. What about celebrating Thanksgiving, eh? Why not have your parade within the month of December? Don't feed me crap about it being a scheduling issue -- those in charge of setting the date are just aloof nitwits.

I yelled at Crystal this morning because she made the point that I don't always fully consider her special dietary requirements when planning out meals. She was right; I had no reason to get upset. I take criticism poorly. I was also in the wrong for yelling. The sore throat serves me right, I suppose. Even though I'm not the angry man I once was, I can still have my moments when I'm stressed out. Doesn't make it right, but I've learned to identify when I am most likely to get angry.

Here I am, writing about myself for a change. Yet, I sat before my keyboard for an hour without any inspiration as to what to write about. As I've grown as a writer and tried to expand my content, sometimes I forget that this blog began as a means to soothe my inner beast. Writing about my feelings and getting out my anger was the best therapy I ever went through. When times get stressful, I shouldn't be afraid to speak from the heart. Getting out my feelings is perhaps the best thing I can do to feel better.

I have a difficult time processing stress and letting things go. It's just in my nature to hold onto the things that trigger my rage. While it's almost certainly related to my upbringing, I'm an adult now. Releasing the things that perturb me is fully within my capability. Finding a sense of calmness and balance is more important, especially on days like today.

You're Getting Robbed At The Grocery Store.

When it comes to using deceptive and outright ridiculous marketing practices, nothing perturbs me more than grocery stores. So often, I walk through grocery stores and remark out loud about how terribly overpriced many of the items are. Take this afternoon for example. I went to my local Lowes Foods location to purchase some groceries. Here are a few examples of items "on sale" directly from this week's flyer (Week of Nov. 4, 2015 - Nov. 10, 2015).

I'll begin with this sale on Bird's Eye Steamfresh Vegetables. Lowes has them "on sale" at two packages for $3. The average schmuck shopper would look at that and say "that's a good deal, by golly!" BZZZZZZZZ! Wrong, you brain-dead moron! The packages are $1.50 each. Even worse, they're at most only 14.4 ounces, so not even a pound. Comparatively speaking, you can obtain full pound bags of frozen vegetables at other retailers for $1 or $1.25. Not only are you paying more per bag, but you're receiving less product. So no... this item is not on sale. You're getting ripped off.

Here we have a couple of deceptively priced items. Granny Smith Apples are "on sale" for $1.79 per pound. That price is absolutely atrocious, especially considering apples are harvested in the Fall and are currently in season. Typically, I won't pay more than $1.29 for a pound of apples (any variety)... and that's at my absolute high end. If you visit your local farmers market, you can obtain apples for much, much less from growers right in your own backyard. Next, take a look at the four-pack of Bell Peppers. Lowes has them priced at $3.99 per pack. That equates to $1 per Bell Pepper. Considering the average Bell Pepper weighs around seven ounces, the per pound price is around $2.28. That is certifiable highway robbery, considering Bell Peppers can regularly be purchased not on sale around $1 or $1.50 per pound. You're paying over twice what the Bell Peppers are really worth... but because they're "on sale", nitwit shoppers will buy them.

Glance at these packs of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. They're "on sale" as BUY 1 GET 1 FREE! Must be a good deal, right? Nope, you dingle-puss... your wallet is being raped right under your nose, and you don't even know it. Let's do the math. The packs are priced at $5.99 per pound. If you're getting one pack free for every one you purchase, then the packs are really $3 per pound. Considering boneless, skinless chicken breast can be obtained routinely between $1.50 and $2.50 per pound, you're getting bamboozled. BOGO should stand for Bought Only by Gullible Oafs.

While these examples represent items "on sale", by no means are they the only bouts of theft within a grocery store. Lots of items at normal price are themselves highly inflated. I encountered this evening:

• Spinach wraps for $3.49 (a dollar higher than competitors)
• One pound pouches of pre-sliced turkey lunch meat for $5.99 (I never pay more than $4 per pound for most deli meats)
• 16 ounce jars of Skippy Peanut Butter for $3.50 (that's almost $1.50 more than what you should be paying)
• Packs of White Button Mushrooms for $2.49 (about $0.70 more than competitors)

Can I afford $3.50 jars of peanut butter and $6 turkey meat? Sure. Will I purchase those items at those prices? HELL NO. How do you think I live so comfortably and don't struggle paycheck to paycheck like most other Americans? I've learned to save money and not get robbed by retailers. Saving money begins with where and how you shop. You have to be smart, because grocery retailers are out to swindle you.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Is this an indictment of Lowes Foods and their absurdly high prices. Sure... but they're not the only guilty party. Just within my area, Harris Teeter, Wal-Mart (yes, the supposedly low-priced retailer) and Food Lion are just as bad, if not worse in many instances. Nearly every grocery store outrageously prices a swathe of items at prices far beyond their actual value. And yet, they get away with it because consumers fail to object to such nonsense. Our nation just keeps on paying whatever prices massive corporate retailers demand like a pack of brainless zombies.

BRAAAAAAINS... TAAAKE MY MOOOOOONEY! MMMMMMM!

Every time you enter a grocery store, you're bombarded with carefully crafted marketing schemes to make you feel like an intelligent shopper. Buy One, Get One! Two For...! Half Off! And yet, this doesn't even account for rewards card programs, which confuse and befuddle the common consumer even further. This is why I appreciate local grocery stores and farmers markets. No sly marketing schemes. No rewards cards. Just decent food at a decent price. And yet, local retailers like this are rapidly fading away.

The fabricated reality packaged by most grocery stores couldn't be any farther from the truth. You have to be crafty and insightful when grocery shopping, or you'll be taken advantage of... and you can take that bit of advice to the bank!

*I fully realize that prices fluctuate based upon geographic region. Certainly, the prices I've quoted could be considered "cheap" in other parts of the United States. Then again, grocery stores are undoubtedly pulling the same hi-jinks all across this land. Prices are merely scaled up and down in relation to location.

The War On Thanksgiving Has Begun.

I visited my local JCPenney retail store in Burlington, North Carolina today. In my possession were a few decent coupons and I wanted to see what clothing I could purchase at a substantial discount. Lo and behold, the horrors I found as walked through their entrance.

Tinsel...
Wreaths...
Holiday Trees...
Christmas Carols!

WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. JCPenney has already decorated for Christmas by the first week of November. Forget that we just finished Halloween. Forget that we still have THREE FRICKIN' WEEKS until Thanksgiving. Nope... they've just leap-frogged right into Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year!

EAT. MY. SCHWEDDY. BALLS.

I understand that the holidays are the most profitable retail season of the year. Hell, I'm a retailer myself. But... can we not celebrate each season in its own time? Thanksgiving is my most favorite holiday, yet retailers can't wait to forget about it because it doesn't drive sales. Who wants to buy new suede shoes and cashmere sweaters when they're trying to be thankful for what they already have?

Alarmingly, Thanksgiving has become nothing more than a pre-game ritual for Christmas. Folks often have their Christmas Tree and decorations already out for display by Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving has morphed into Christmas Light, just without the exchanging of gifts. Retail stores are no different. They want you to celebrate Christmas early and often. It's all about the War on Thanksgiving... and many of you have blood on your hands.

So to JCPenney, I say SCREW YOU.

Screw you for cheapening Christmas.
Screw you for dismissing Thanksgiving.
Screw you for changing the seasons to suit your own selfish whims.

I'm sure there are other large retailers that have already set up for Christmas. Undoubtedly, JCPenney is probably not the only guilty party. Yet, they're the first example I've encountered... no less than FIVE days into November. Good grief!

What Not Being Quite So Fat Has Taught Me.

Over the course of the past two years, I've lost a total of seventy pounds. I believe I still have thirty to fifty pounds to go, but I'm definitely over the halfway mark on my journey. In that time, I've grown to understand what I was doing wrong with my body -- little to no exercise, non-existent portion control, eating when I was angry or sad, etc. As I've relearned how to eat and manage my weight, certain aspects about life have become apparent to me. Here's a few observations relating to weight and food that I've witnessed along the way.

• I don't become angry when I go clothes shopping anymore. I have an easier time finding clothes that fit me. Going shopping for clothes used to be an activity I absolutely dreaded. I knew I'd just end up feeling disappointed because nothing fit me. Now, I can find items that readily fit, without having to try the slightest. Though, locating a pair of shoes that will accommodate my wide feet is still a dilemma -- one that losing weight will not fix.
• We are literally surrounded by processed sugar. I can't walk through a grocery store without seeing aisles of products that are loaded with sugar -- canned fruit, dry cereals, soda pops, snack crackers, breads, peanut butter, candy, cake, cookies, soup, yogurt, pasta. Many things that I used to purchase as recently as three or four years ago I won't even touch today. Why? Knowledge is key. Until you actually start paying attention to what's in your food, you'll never see the insane amount of sugar and calories they hide. Sugar is the phantom villain that's ruining the lives of countless millions.
• No one cooks anymore. Sure, people purchase raw meat and vegetables on occasion, but the vast majority purchase food-like products that require little to no effort -- processed dinners, boxed side items like macaroni & cheese, pre-made pasta, and so on. One of the most sincere ways we could combat the weight epidemic in this nation is to have a cooking revolution. Let's get back to actually preparing our meals.
• Eating has become an activity for our society. This isn't to say I personally don't enjoy a good meal out at a swanky restaurant. Yet, eating at a restaurant has become more than merely seeking tasty nourishment; it's become something for people to go and do with their friends at random. They do it too often and consume too much.
• My feet get cold. What the hell?! Is this what most people deal with? Is it normal for people to experience the sensation of cold? I used to never get frosty... though I was carrying many, many, MANY more inches of fat on my body.
• The Fat Acceptance movement is pure laziness; it is a cop out to avoid making a positive change in your life. This has nothing (I repeat NOTHING) to do with beauty standards -- people of all shapes and sizes are beautiful in their own way. This has everything to do with improving your physical health and living a longer, more fulfilling life. I was going to die young if I didn't start getting the excess weight off. When I came to understand how being obese was slowly killing me, that's when things clicked in my head. I WANT TO LIVE!

Shoe Shopping Is A Total Scam.

Honestly, I like to shop. Yeah, I know... I'm one of the rare guys who enjoys shopping. Yet, if there's one thing I don't like to shop for, it's shoes. I wear a size 10.5 Wide, which is a fairly hard combination to find. Thankfully, I can depend on Skechers to make a pair of tennis shoes that I fit into.

Today was a different experience, though. I've wanted to find a pair of casual, Oxford style shoes for a while. Unfortunately, I've had no luck in finding any for a reasonable price. Sure, I could pay upwards of $75-$100 for a pair that will fit me, but that's just ridiculous. As a general rule of thumb, I won't pay more than $50 for a pair of shoes -- and that's pushing it.

The very moment you walk into a shoe store like this, you're in immediate danger of being ripped off.

It's not that I can't afford a pair of $100 shoes, it's just that I'm not dumb enough to spend that much. They're shoes, for goodness sake! I wear them on my feet -- it's not like they can launch me to the moon. Shoes simply should not cost that much. In reality, they don't... and I have proof.

Last year, a thirty-plus year veteran of Nike revealed a long-standing mystery within the tennis shoe industry. Presenting before the University of Oregon's Sports Product Management program, Nike employee Steve Bence broke down just how much a typical $100 pair of Nike shoes costs to produce. I won't bore you with the exact details, but Bence provided some startling numbers. A pair of $100 Nike shoes costs about $28 to make and ship to the United States. By the time that pair of shoes has overhead costs and taxes levied upon it, Nike sells it at wholesale for around $50, making approximately 9% profit. I honestly don't take issue with this -- 9% profit is reasonable. Now, here comes the shocking part.

Once the shoe is purchased at wholesale by a retailer, they immediately raise the price to $100! That's where all the profit goes -- to the retailers. And remember... those shoes are being sold by part-time employees making minimum wage with no health benefits. Shoe retailers like Foot Locker (whom also owns Champs, Footaction and Eastbay) are making an absolutely killing on their retail products. Foot Locker was ranked #400 on the 2014 edition of the Fortune 500 list -- their market value was an astounding $6.8 Billion. Obviously, the profit margins are even higher on shoes that get top promotional billing, like Air Jordans.

So no, I won't buy a shoe that's been marked up nearly 100% percent at retail... and I hope you wouldn't either. Be a smarter shopper!

Where Did Christmas In July Come From?

Now that the Fourth of July is behind us, we're entering into the Holiday Wasteland. No major holidays are on the American calendar between now and September. Yet, I'm reminded of ironic Christmas in July shopping events. When I was young, my mother used to watch all of the various Christmas in July sales and promotions on the QVC home shopping network.

That's right... I'm parlaying an article out of a memory concerning QVC. Just bear with me, folks.

What's stayed with me for all of these years is how blatantly profit-driven those televised sales were. Snowglobes and reindeer... for sale in July? Oh yes... and even more. You could get everything holiday related that you'd normally see for sale in December, but during the middle of Summer. In fact, QVC is still holding their annual Christmas in July sale more than twenty plus years since I can recall first seeing it.

So where did the concept of a Christmas in July originate? The idea is more simple than you might think.

In the Southern Hemisphere of our planet, the seasons are reversed from those in the Northern Hemisphere. Instead of experiencing Winter in December, January and February, countries like Argentina and South Africa endure their coldest months in June, July and August. Likewise, December, January and February in the Southern Hemisphere are Summer. To experience and celebrate the more recognizable Northern Hemisphere Christmas, many countries south of the Equator hold Christmas in July events. You could see Santa Claus sipping a margarita on the beach, or a snowman made out of sand (sandman?). Gifts may or may not be exchanged. The Southern Hemisphere still celebrates Christmas in December, so they practically enjoy the holiday season twice in one year!

Of course, leave it to capitalists to take a wholly innocent idea and run with it. Adopting the Christmas in July theme, retailers began using it as a promotional tool to move merchandise during the slowest sales time of year. This practice goes as far back as the 1950's in the United States.

So there you have it -- Christmas in July actually does have a reason to exist. If you're in Australia, then Christmas in July is about festively sharing a sense of merriment and wonder with your fellow man. If you're in the United States, then Christmas in July is an excuse to purchase sports bras, running shoes and video games at forty percent off!

Just in case you were wondering, Australia does see snow in June. Here's an article with photos detailing a terrible snow storm they received just a month ago.

I'm (Still) Surrounded By Idiots.

Oh joy! I have had the opportunity to spend even more time with idiots today, except this time in person!

While taking my morning exercise route through the park next door, I was approached by a pack of teenagers with pamphlets. There were a bunch of folks playing baseball at the park this morning, so I assume this group figured it was a good place to reach a lot of people. I'll let you guess what type of good message they were spreading.

Go ahead...

*crickets*

Of course, these silly teenagers wanted to spread the word of Jesus. They were accompanied by an older man with a giant cross around his neck. Even though I repeatedly turned down their pamphlets and tried to walk away, they just wouldn't stop hounding me. The older gentleman asked me what my problem was.

Today was not the day.

"Are you sure you want to know what my problem is? Here's my problem."

I looked all the teenagers in the face and told them that they were being taken advantage of. I asked them to please think for themselves and analyze the leaders in their life. I also asked them to please challenge the ideas that they blindly follow and evaluate their merits via logic and science, not words from an archaic book. I told the older man that he should be ashamed of himself for leading these impressionable teenagers astray. Finally, I explained that they were extremely rude for approaching strangers in a park with the assumption that their message is the correct one.

As their jaws proceeded to drop, I walked away. Thankfully, they were gone when I looped back through the park on my way out.

Oh, but my day wasn't over yet. I had more idiots to come!

After dropping packages off at the post office, I ventured to the local Tractor Supply to pick up some pine shavings. As if entering into the Holy Corporate Temple of Country Living wasn't bad enough -- the gaudy clothing and country music makes my skin crawl. I grabbed my bag of pine shavings, which weigh a considerable amount (40-50 lbs), and got in line. Of course, the guy at the register is slow and wants to talk with every customer. The first guy in line can't decided which dog tie out line he wants to purchase, so he walks away and leaves his items at the register. The next customer in line looked like he crawled out of a coffin. He fumbled endlessly through his wallet, only to attempt to pay with a credit card he had no idea how to use. Mind you, about ten minutes have passed at this point. I spent more time in line than I did getting the pine shavings! Finally, the living mummy gets done and I move up to check out. But no... the dumb-ass with the multiple dog tie out lines returns and expects to check out immediately. The cashier tells me I have to wait as soon as I approach so he can check this other guy out.

Enough is enough.

I dropped the heavy bag of pine shavings on the floor.

"You are killing me, man. This guy gets out of line because he doesn't know what he wants, and now you want to let him cut back in line in front of me? Do you see how heavy this bag is? What's wrong with you?"

I turned to the guy who wanted to cut back in line.

"You got out of line. Did you even consider the other folks in line that you're holding up?"

I turned and pointed to the long line behind me.

"You see all this people? They waited in line just like I did. You want back in line? Go to the end and wait, just like everyone else."

I looked at the cashier again.

"Now, check me out so I can get away from you morons!"

He checked me out and didn't say a word to me. I had nothing left to say to him. And to think, it's only 1 PM! I still have eleven hours in the day remaining!

We're Coddling Our Children To Death.

I was flipping through my local Target sales paper yesterday evening and came upon the following ad.

After pondering the intent of the items described for sale, I found myself asking...

Do parents really need to watch their baby via a constantly streaming video feed twenty-four hours a day?

After laughing at the Big Brother like nature of the video baby monitor, I couldn't help but be concerned. Is this sort of Orwellian surveillance necessary for the survival of our children? Humanity (Homo sapiens) has been on Earth for over two-hundred thousand years. Our most ancient ancestors have been here for nearly six million years. In all that time, no matter by which method you choose to measure, did children not survive without being constantly monitored? Were children not able to sleep in a cradle without being video recorded non-stop? Are we so pathetic as to require perpetual inspection and control of our offspring?

Let's think about it from another perspective. Consider the situation from the child's point of view. With constant spying, they'll never experience a world where their every action isn't being recorded. They'll never know what it is to enjoy actual privacy. They'll never comprehend the need for personal space and solitude. They'll never be able to make their own decisions. Most importantly, your own child will never know if they can trust you (or anyone else really).

What sort of life is that? Do we really want this for our children?

I realize this is just a single ad in a department store circular, but it reflects a much deeper societal problem that hardly anyone is considering.

We're coddling our children to absolute death.

You can let your child...

• sleep at night without watching their every breath
• play outside and get dirty
• defend against a bully, even if it means throwing a punch
• fail at their classwork, sports or any other personal endeavor
• do their own homework
• spend time alone without constant interaction

Believe it or not, little Johnny can go on the swing without you watching them.

You see, the more we hover over our children and watch their every move, the more we make them less independent. Spying on your child while they're an infant is the first step in a long journey of forming a defective human being -- one that's prone to dependency and needing constant approval from others. This type of helicopter parenting is ridiculous and detrimental to your child's health. And for goodness sake... the last thing this world needs is a populace comprised of attention-starved brats with no sense of independence.

Now cut the camera off and go to sleep.

Your Advertising Makes Me Want To NOT Buy From You!

There's just something about really terrible advertising campaigns and commercials that riles me up. Here's an example.

Click for full-size to see how much it sucks.

I received the above local ad in the mail today. It's one of your typical coupon fliers that try to grab your attention with silly antics. Haha... look at that fat cheerleader. Teehee... that so makes me want to buy tires from you.

Unfortunately, I'm one of those people that are completely deterred by this sort of nonsense. Such advertising speaks to a lower caliber of individual. If you feel the need to look like a fool in your advertisement, how can I feel comfortable knowing that you'll provide me with a quality product and/or professional service?

I can't.

Another trend in advertising (especially in rural areas and smaller cities), is to use children in television commercials. I HATE THESE TYPES OF COMMERCIALS MORE THAN ANY OTHER. If I see a child in your commercial attempting to sell me a car, sing me a jingle or generally just try to be cute, I will NEVER... and I mean N-E-V-E-R buy anything from you. Trying to sell your business with children is just, well... for lack of a better word, childish! This method gives me ZERO confidence in your business. Instead of showing me what you do or what you sell, you just assume shoving some cute little kids in front of me will garner my trust. Nope - it makes me assume that you're pathetic. It's also insulting. Expect better of yourself and your potential customers. Look at it this way...

Would you buy a car from a little kid? Of course not. Then why would you use a little kid in your commercial to sell me a car? YOU SHOULDN'T!

Hell no I'm not buying something from you. Get off my television screen!

The Deed is Done!

HAHA! Fooled you. No, I didn't buy an Ice Cream Truck.

After a long day of negotiating, this guy is once again mobile. Starting around lunch time today and continuing to roughly 5:00 PM, Crystal and I negotiated with a dealership in Greensboro over a vehicle on our short list. It was tough and they didn't want to budge too much, but we finally got the price down to a number that we were comfortable with.

And to think... the last bargaining chip we needed was a spare tire.

I won't make you wait any longer to see my new vehicle. The suspense must be killing you.




Wait for it...




Wait for it...




Waaaaaaaaait...




Okay, seriously Jared, you're being obnoxious.

Go ahead and congratulate yourself. You now know a guy with a Jeep. That's right -- the new ride is a 2015 Jeep Cherokee Sport. It has a rare Southwest Option Package, which includes larger 17" custom alloys, full window tinting, custom silver roof rails, spoiler, a satellite radio and radio control buttons on the steering wheel -- amongst a host of other things not usually found on the Sport trim level. All of these options are very rare on a Cherokee Sport (trust me, we looked all over the east coast). In fact, it's so rare that the dealership didn't even know they had it on their lot until we pointed it out (it pays to do your own research). To find all of this together on a vehicle that actually has been painted a color instead of a shade... well that's just super! The Deep Cherry Red paint job is sexy -- yes, I said sexy. Considering the space it has inside, the above average gas mileage, a nine-speed transmission which drives smoothly and an engine with way more power than I'm used to... I'd say this is definitely an upgrade over the PT Cruiser.

Back to that spare tire I mentioned -- the dealer finally met me at my desired price when they informed me that they couldn't obtain a spare tire and jack kit. That saved $500 off the bottom line and placed it in the acceptable purchase price zone. Considering I can get the spare kit for a few hundred bucks, it was worth it (perhaps for even less if I scour a couple salvage yards).

The funny part? I've now completed the MOPAR trifecta. I have owned a Dodge, a Chrysler and now a Jeep.

Expect updates on my upcoming adventures in the coming days. I know I'll be taking a trip to Charlotte on Saturday.

FINALLY!

Negotiating a Deal.

The journey for a new set of wheels continues...

I sat down today with a local salesman to discuss some numbers on the Nissan Rogue. It's a great vehicle with a lot of potential, but the price for it seems to differ wildly from dealership to dealership. Needless to say, I wasn't too happy with the initial price that I was given. Per what the salesman said, the price he offered on this Rogue only included $100 in profit for him. Because the exact vehicle I would want is located in Charlotte on another dealer's lot, I was told that the price would be higher. Of course, I was not comfortable with the initial offer presented. In response, the salesman made a pitch concerning the same model on their own lot, just in a different color -- dark grey. On this vehicle, he presented an offer that was two thousand dollars less than the previous. Though, it was still higher than what I want to pay for a vehicle. Considering there are similar competitor vehicles available for a few thousand dollars less (specifically the Jeep Cherokee), I am under no pressure to purchase the Rogue.

My logic on the matter is this -- if I'm going to spend $25,000 on a vehicle, I at least would like to get what I want. Why spend that much money on a vehicle I don't really want?

In this instance, I wanted a blue Rogue SV with a moon roof and fog lamps.

What irks me the most is when salesman say that white, black, grey or silver are the best colors to buy. They claim that they retain the highest resale value and look the best when dirty. I wonder... have these guys ever seen a dirty white car? A dirty silver or black car? They look terrible! Not to mention, why not drive something with a little bit of color? Has humanity become so dull and lifeless? They might have a higher resale value, but is it because dealerships keep telling us that this is so? Talk about controlling the narrative. Shoppers need to show a little more originality when buying a vehicle. Refrain from conforming to the accepted norm. Do what suits you! Want a yellow convertible? Go for it. Want a pink station wagon? Lovely.

Not to mention, where did all the station wagons go in the United States? That's a whole other gripe of mine.

The next time you get on the road, I want you to take notice of the private passenger (non-commercial) vehicles that pass you. Spend a few good minutes watching the colors of cars that you see. You'll notice a trend -- most cars on the road are not a color, but a shade. White, black, grey and silver are the most popular paint jobs on vehicles. You might see the occasional red vehicle, maybe a blue. Green, orange or yellow? Maybe one or two in an entire day. And don't even get me started on poor old purple (my favorite color). Auto manufacturers are racist as hell when it comes to the most royal of colors.

One of my dream cars - a purple 1950 Studebaker Champion. I have a thing for a bullet nose on a car. 

Back to the events of today...

Before I left the dealership, the general manager came in to negotiate. He offered to get the blue Rogue in Charlotte and sell it for the same price as the one on the lot. Suddenly, the Rogue in Charlotte was worth two thousand dollars less. How quickly the story changed in just a span of half an hour! Add on top of that offers of zero percent financing (which I don't need because I already have cash and financing) and free regular maintenance -- they thought a sale was certain to be made.

Nope, I walked away and said I had to think it over for a day.

Seriously, consider this for a bit -- if there were two thousand dollars worth of wiggle room in a vehicle that's not even on their lot, how much actual wiggle room is there on the vehicle that is on their lot? At the end of it all, I still don't want to spend over twenty grand on a car that isn't what suits me. This holds especially true when I can get a similar car for less with another manufacturer.

At this point, I'm half way tempted to just buy an old car and have it restored for half the price of what I'd pay for a new vehicle. That's what I really want to do anyway!

The quest will begin again tomorrow!

The Ups and Downs of Car Shopping.

I experienced two extremes today in terms of shopping for a new vehicle. I'll start today's article with the negative experience, but end on a positive note.

First, the bad...

2015 Toyota RAV4

Crystal and I went to check out a Toyota RAV4 at the local Cox Toyota dealership. Our salesman, whom was initially polite and answered all of our questions, soon morphed into a belligerent salesman whom wouldn't take no for an answer. From the onset of our encounter, he was directly informed that we would not impulsively buy a vehicle on the spot. We wanted to look at all of the vehicles on our short list of candidates, of which the RAV4 was one. Only after evaluating all of the potential candidates would we make a final decision. We test drove the RAV4 and liked it reasonably well (though, it has not proven to be one of our final selections for reasons unrelated to the salesman). Upon returning to the dealership, we asked if he could provide a breakdown of the general prices on each trim level of the vehicle for comparison sake. After vanishing and making us wait for twenty minutes, he returned with a data sheet. This sheet concerned one of the models he had on the dealership lot, which he felt perfectly fit our needs. How he knew what would be a perfect fit for us, I have no idea -- that's a decision only myself and Crystal can make. He then began his sales pitch, assuming we were ready to buy the vehicle he selected. When we tried to compare the RAV4 to other models we were considering, he immediately spoke ill of them. HELLO -- when you do that, it implies that we're idiots for considering them! Needless to say, this salesman was in for a surprise. I had to reiterate that we were not buying the vehicle on the spot, but merely evaluating it for purchase. After a few rounds of him second guessing our judgment, tossing out-of-date consumer reports at us and generally throwing a tantrum, we walked out. Because of this salesman's behavior, I wouldn't buy any vehicle from Cox Toyota just on principle. They lost our business... permanently. And to think -- none of this had anything to do with the quality of the RAV4.

Now, to the good...

2015 Nissan Rogue

Later this afternoon, we visited our local Carolina Nissan dealership. Another vehicle on our short list of prospects was the Nissan Rogue. I had previously spoken with our salesman a few days ago for a minute or two. He provided me with a booklet concerning the Rogue's specs, which is what incurred me to include it on our short list. Not once did he ever try to tie up my time and lure me into a sales pitch. I took the booklet, shook his hand and left. Today, he was very polite and prompt. This salesman answered all of our questions about the vehicle and showed us every nook and cranny. We sat together in the Rogue and he went over each and every detail about the interior. Then, we completed a test drive. What I appreciated about this salesman was that he remained quiet for the majority of the ride. He allowed Crystal and I to take the Rogue in and let it "sell itself". After we got back to the dealership, the salesman asked us into his office, explained the different prices on the trims, and told us that he would appreciate the chance to do business with us if we deemed the Rogue worthy. He was not pushy, nor brash, nor did he make assumptions about what we wanted. This salesman let us ask questions -- not only about the Rogue, but other vehicles we were considering as well. He spoke highly of some of the other candidates and said they were just as good (if not better in some areas) than the Rogue. The fact that he didn't bad-mouth the other models on our list reflected well upon his nature. Instead of trying to knock the other guy down, he instead chose to lift his own product up. I like that in a salesman. He had the confidence in his own product to let it speak for itself. Because he was so gracious and realistic, combined with the fact that the Rogue was fantastic to drive, we've now moved this particular vehicle into the finalist category.

I'm a considerate and realistic guy. I realize that a salesman is selling a product to earn a living. I can respect that -- being a salesman is a difficult job where you really get to see people at their best and worst. Even though I don't sell cars, I'm a salesman myself -- I can completely relate. Yet, a salesman also has to realize that they don't have a product that's right for everyone. As the old saying goes... one man's trash is another man's treasure. If you can be polite, answer my questions and let me judge the vehicle for itself, then perhaps you'll get a sale out of it.

Being a salesman is like going fishing. Sometimes you don't even get a nibble. Sometimes you get a few nibbles, but nothing takes the hook. Sometimes you get lucky and reel the fish in. It's just the nature of the beast.

That being said -- if we decide to purchase the Rogue, I'll only buy it from the gentlemen I spoke with today. By not aggressively selling the Rogue, he sold the Rogue. Do you get what I'm saying? You attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.

The Car Quest Continues.

A Nash Auto Dealership circa 1949

The quest for a new vehicle now continues...

I might just have a private buyer for my PT Cruiser. That would be most excellent, considering I can demand a higher price than using it as a trade-in. Don't get me wrong -- I love my PT Cruiser. It's been a wonderful car that I've taken care of. A 2008 touring model with only 57K miles? That's pretty low. But, I need something with slightly more power, so it has to go. I do hate to part with it, though.

My short list of possible car choices has grown smaller. The Subaru Crosstrek, Subaru Impreza, Mazda 3 5-Door Hatchback and Mitsubishi Outlander Sport are out. They just didn't afford me any more horsepower than what I already have. The Jeep Cherokee Sport and VW Golf have risen to be my top choices.

I was quite impressed with the power of the Cherokee Sport. It has the new 9 Speed Transmission, and boy could I tell it in the short time I drove it. I am also eager for the VW Golf, but it only comes with leatherette seats. I'm worried that they might crack or pull apart over time. I would have to get a Golf GTI just to have cloth seats -- that's something I'm not opposed to for the right price.

Before I make a final decision, I still want to test drive a Toyota RAV4, Nissan Rogue, Kia Sorenta and a Kia Sportage. Perhaps next week when I have more time. In the mean time, am I forgetting any other auto manufacturers and their products? I believe I've covered them all.

Let's Go For a Ride.

Interior of a 2015 Volkswagen Golf

For a while now, I've been debating buying a new vehicle. I test drove a multitude of different selections today. As such, I'm rather tired and my eyes are weary. That being said, I won't have much to say this evening.  What I would like from you are your opinions. Of the vehicles that I have recently test driven (all 2015 models), tell me if you have any personal experience with one or more of them. Here is what I've tried out:

• Chevy Equinox
• Mazda 3 5-Door Hatchback
• Mitsubishi Outlander
• Ford Escape
• Jeep Cherokee Sport
• Honda CR-V
• Volkswagen Golf
• Subaru Crosstrek
• Subaru Impreza 5-Door Hatchback

If you have any personal suggestions based upon something similar to what I've tested, I'd be happy to hear your thoughts. Thank you!

Grinding My Gears! - Unobservant Pedestrian Shoppers

Have you ever noticed those people whom always seem to walk aimlessly into oncoming traffic when exiting a department store? Trust me -- I HAVE.

Hold the phones, it's...

Today's installment of Grinding My Gears! is all about Unobservant Pedestrian Shoppers. We all know them and we've all dealt with them. Some zeppelin-sized pussbag with three kids in tow will waddle out the front door of your local Wal-Mart or Target. You're driving by trying to find a parking spot (because you're not parking in the fire lane like the rest of the local scum). And of course, without any sense of their surroundings, those fools fail to look both ways and meander right in front of your vehicle. As expected, they take their time when walking in front of you. Big Momma in her pink sweats has to check her Facebook, you know! And those kids... they seem to run every which way BUT away from your vehicle. It makes me want to scream!

AAAAHHHHUUUUUGGHHHHHAAAAARRRRGGHHHH!

Why can't people just look both ways before walking into traffic? I realize that cars have to yield to pedestrians. That's a rule I fully agree with. Yet, doesn't some sense of personal responsibility enter into the equation? Whenever I walk out of a department store or shopping center, I follow a few simple steps.

1. STOP
2. LOOK LEFT
3. LOOK RIGHT
4. DECIDE IF WALKING WOULD IMPEDE TRAFFIC
5. GO WHEN I HAVE AN OPENING
6. WALK BRISKLY TO CROSS THE TRAFFIC LANE

I mean really folks... it's that damn easy. Sure, a vehicle technically has to yield to me if I walk in front of them... but it doesn't mean I should go without judging my surroundings first. Isn't it rude to just walk thoughtlessly in the way of other people? Much less, should you heedlessly enter into a lane of traffic with giant metal bricks on wheels zooming towards you? What if a driver doesn't see you? Did you ever consider that you might just be road kill for the buzzards?

No, you didn't... you're an aloof pinhead.

I can't even begin to count the number of boneheads that have walked in front of my car without so much as looking up and noticing I was there. It's a good thing I was paying attention because they sure as hell were not. Their mobile phone is the usual culprit, but not always. So often I see moms messing with their kids and completely neglecting to insure that it was safe to cross the road. Other times, it's folks shoving coffee or food into their face. Can't that wait until you get to your car?

New flash you morons -- just because drivers are instructed to yield to pedestrians doesn't automatically insure your safety! 

Need proof that more pedestrians are being killed in accidents with vehicles? Take a look at the most recent 2012 National Highway Traffic Safety Administration report on pedestrian fatalities. For many years now, pedestrian deaths as a percentage of total vehicle accident fatalities have been steadily rising. In 2012, there were over 4,743 pedestrians killed in vehicle collisions. I'd bet good money that many of those deaths could have been avoided if the pedestrian involved had been more aware of their surroundings.

So there you have it. When you're walking out of a shopping center and going to your vehicle in the parking lot, please be attentive. Look around you. Wait for nearby vehicles to pass before entering the crosswalk. Be courteous of drivers and show them some respect, just as they show you respect.

Because let's face it... if the rule of law wasn't in place, I'd have run you over a LONG time ago. That's the only thing protecting you from me.

An Open Letter to Target: Stop Badgering Me About the REDCard!

The following is an open letter to the Target Corporation. Hopefully, someone within their corporate body will see this message. If not, then perhaps it will make the rounds on the internet in a viral manner. If you're reading this letter, please share it. Either way, my point will have been made.

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Dear Target,

Please stop asking me if I want your REDCard.

Your associates are forced to ask me if I want to sign up for your REDCard -- sometimes two, three or even four times in one visit. No matter what department I try to complete a purchase, I always manage to hear the following.

"Would you like to sign up for our Target REDCard and save 5% off your purchase?"

Seriously... please stop.

Let me explain why I don't want your card.

In essence, your Target REDCard acts as an unnecessary middleman between my bank account and me. Instead of simply paying for my purchase via cash or my personal debit card, you want me to jump through ANOTHER hoop to pay for something. Why would I need a separate debit card that's only good at one retailer? I already have a debit card from my credit union that works just fine. I swipe my debit card at any location that accepts VISA, enter my PIN and I'm done. I get my item and you get your payment.

Most people with half a brain would ask... "Gee, why does Target want to be a middleman between my bank account and me?"

The answer is simple. By being the middleman in a purchase, you get to collect personal information about who I am and what kind of products I regularly purchase. This information is used by you, as well as the other corporate affiliates you share data with. If one were to carefully read the fine print in the REDCard's privacy policy, they would discover this important piece of information. Then again, you're banking on customers to never read the privacy policy. Most customers won't, which your lawyers and accountants have carefully predicted. By superseding the established relationship I have with my bank or credit union, you carefully insert yourself as the new intermediary in my wallet. To be quite honest, I'm just not comfortable with that scenario.

Alas, let's not forget that supposed 'generous' 5% purchase rebate you afford all customers with the REDCard. First, let's get one thing straight -- 5% is pathetic. For every one dollar I spend with your corporation, you only want to return five measly cents? I can find five cents on the ground in your parking lot! Let's expand this notion to a larger purchase. Say I spend fifty dollars in your store. That would equate to a $2.50 rebate off my total purchase. The sacrifice of my personal information for a few dollars is not worth it. If I genuinely need to save a tiny, almost ineffective amount off a purchase, I'll use a coupon. I'll wait until an item goes on sale. I'll wait until the regular price drops. I'll wait until the item is clearanced. Again -- your 5% rebate is insulting. We both know my personal information and shopping data is worth a considerable amount more than any 5% rebate. The data that is mined from personal shopping and expenditures has become, as the World Economic Forum calls it, a new asset class. In layman's terms, that means my data is worth big bucks to you. It helps you learn how to make me give you more of my personal wealth.

Perhaps the more human and tangible issue I have with your incessant asking is the interaction experience with your associates. To begin with, I'm going to provide you with the honest truth about what your own associates feel about the REDCard.

Your associates absolutely HATE pressuring customers about the REDCard every time they want to complete a purchase.

I've spoken with multiple Target employees, both in private and off the clock. They will remain anonymous for the sake of their jobs. The day-in and day-out badgering they are forced to comply with to remain employed is degrading. When I use the word 'badgering', I mean it literally. I am badgered by your unwilling employees to sign up for a service I neither want nor need. As one employee informed me, a customer must decline interest in the REDCard three times in one encounter for the associate to relinquish their corporate-mandated assault! Let me be clear. I place no fault upon the associates I encounter; their compliance is forced in order to stay gainfully employed. The Target Corporation is completely at fault for this rude and hounding behavior.

If I want your REDCard, I will ask you about it. Your endless stream of flyers, signs and advertisements are enough to let me know that the REDCard is available. Should I decide I want the service (which I won't), then I will approach one of your associates about signing up, not the other way around.

According to a study completed by the U.S. Department of Education in 2014, only 14% of the American adult population is either mostly or totally unable to read. That means, under the worst possible conditions, 7 out of every 50 customers that walk through your doors may not be able to read the flyers, signs and advertisements I mentioned previously. Your most likely response to that fact would be...

"We ask all our customers about the REDCard at every opportunity because not everyone has the same ability to read."

My response to that position would be this -- if a person can't read, should they really be signing up for a debit card? I think not.

I've said my peace on this matter. The endless bullying about the REDCard is boorish and upsetting. Your employees feel terrible asking about signing customers up. If I feel pity for anyone in this fiasco, it is your associates. Please rethink your REDCard marketing strategy. As it currently stands, you are pushing customers away.

Sincerely,

Jared A. Manning

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References for the information I used in this letter:

• Target REDCard Privacy Policy Data
• The World Economic Forum -- Personal Data: The Emergence of a New Asset Class
• U.S. Dept. of Education Literacy Statistics

Toys Don't Have a Gender.

Have you ever been in a department store near the selection of toys and heard something similar to the following?

"No! That toy is for boys. Go find a doll."

I have overheard such nonsense more times than I'm comfortable with.

Being a collectibles and toy retailer, I spend a great deal of time around toy departments. I'm always on the hunt for new merchandise, deals, evaluating trends and such. This means I often encounter families with children. Whether these kids are with their father, mother or a grandparent, the same pattern of ignorance rears its ugly head again and again. Parents regularly chide their children for their choice of toys. Mothers will yell at their daughters for wanting Captain America action figures. Fathers will yell at their sons for wanting doll houses.

This senseless conforment to an antiquated gender binary system must stop.

Every child is different. They are essentially little adults, for all intents and purposes. Their personal interests, tastes and aspirations are as varied as life itself. Your son may want to grow up and be a homemaker. Your daughter may strive to be forester.

No matter what your child wants to do in life, you must do two things as a parent...

• Love them unconditionally
• Be a positive source of support

This begins when a child is very young and holds especially true when they're selecting a toy to role play with. How you treat your child when they're little will dictate who they grow into as an adult. Echoes of the past most certainly influence the future.

Parents whom strictly enforce classical gender roles do it less for the benefit of the child and more for their own ego. A parent may be afraid of what others might think if their child plays with a toy deemed "not for their gender". The motivations are quite obvious. Fear is at the heart of this dilemma. Parents are afraid the toys their child plays with could alter their sexual orientation, masculinity or femininity. In actuality, this paradigm is reversed. The toy a child desires to play with is a reflection of their inner selves at that given moment. What catches little Suzie's attention today may not tomorrow. Today might be all about radio controlled cars. Tomorrow might be all about modeling clay. No matter the toy selected, the child will grow to become an adult of complex construction. The toys they play with won't change that.

There's an even darker side to making your child conform to a specific gender of toy (as if toys even had a gender). When you implant such foolishness into their heads at a young age, you're reinforcing age-old sexist stereotypes. Parents aren't the only guilty party here -- retailers and manufacturers have just as much blood on their hands.

I ask any and all parents to step back and reconsider the toys their child wants to play with. Let them play with whatever their little heart yearns for. Give your daughter that Optimus Prime she really wants. Let your son drive Barbie's dream car. Your continued compassion and understanding will do them a favor in the long run. I promise you...

Your child will grow into a well-rounded adult. They will thank you for it.

Losing Their Luster.

The 2014 holiday season has called it quits. The trees are going away (took mine down tonight). All the pretty bulbs are being rolled up for storage. Wrapping paper and bows have been returned to their dark prison in the bedroom closet.

Fin.

I noticed today while shopping that department stores and retailers of virtually all sizes aren't waiting to push Valentine's Day upon us. While passing Nature's Emporium, a local pet and garden center here in Burlington, NC, their electronic billboard was already touting the upcoming holiday. In bright letters, it said...

"GET YOUR VALENTINES' DAY FLAGS HERE!"

I thought to myself... wow! Not a week ago you were telling me how important Christmas was. Now, it's as if you've completely forgotten the holiday. I haven't even popped a bottle of champagne for New Years yet and you want me to confess my undying love via a garden flag?! Do you have amnesia? Then it hit me. This isn't just an isolated incident. Perhaps my thoughts about amnesia were spot on. What if nearly all retailers in today's modern age have HOLIDAY RETAILER AMNESIA?

Certainly, I can understand the imperative of a retailer to make a dollar. I'm a retailer myself. The holiday season between Thanksgiving and New Years is when I turn the highest profit of the year. But what's the difference between them and I? I don't forget to respect the holidays in their own time. I give each and every benchmark holiday on the calendar a chance to breath and stretch its legs, so to speak.

In essence, my point is this... and it relates to my previous articles about Thanksgiving being over-run by Christmas.

Give every holiday it's due time in the spotlight. If we stretch every single holiday out from one to the next, then those special days lose their luster.

Every day can't be a holiday, otherwise there would be no holidays.

A Hidden Gem from the Past.

While shopping at my local Food Lion grocery store, out of the corner of my eye I saw something I hadn't seen in many years. The customer before me in the checkout line had a bag of Old Fashioned Vanilla Creme Drops!

Mind you, I was a pre-teenager the last time I had a creme drop. It seems that as I grew older, this particular holiday treat disappeared, never to be seen again. I knew of specialty shops on the internet that were producing creme drops in small quantities, but they were very expensive. In some instances, over $30 for a single bag.

I quickly, but politely, got the customer's attention and asked where in store she found them. She pointed me to their location. Briskly, like an excited stallion, I trotted over to their holy location. Behold... there were two bags left, and I got them both!

The bag says 'old-fashioned', to which it should be taken quite literally. Creme drops are a very traditional confectionery that go way back. Though, it seems they've all but vanished in modern times. Of course, I eat in a much better way than I used to, so I'll be slowly eating these instead of inhaling an entire bag in one night. I can remember eating whole bags of creme drops at Christmas as a kid. Boy... someone should have stepped in and stopped me.

I was so glad to discover the creme drops today. They're like a hidden gem from the past, stirring memories of holidays gone by.

What are some of your favorite holiday candies and sweets?