Tuesday, June 9, 2015

How To Make a Kick-Ass Sandwich!

I'll be honest with you -- I'm tired. Crystal and I have spent all day rearranging furniture and shopping, so my brain is a little fried. Hence, my article today will be short and ridiculously stupid.

Here's how to make a kick-ass sandwich.

First, you need a fresh Italian bread loaf. Then, you slice that tubular piece of tastiness down the side and split it wide. Slather in some salad dressing (not the kind you actually put on a salad, you dope) and perhaps a bit of spicy mustard. Layer in some green leaf lettuce and a freshly sliced tomato.

Now here comes the fun part... THE MEAT! You need some sliced ham and pepperoni to start. Then, layer an entire plank of provolone cheese. After that, place another layer of sliced pastrami or corned beef -- your choice (hell, add both). Finally, plant a layer of swiss cheese. Just trust me on this. And remember...

Don't cheap out on the meats, my friend. Hit up your local butcher or deli and buy the good stuff.

From here, sprinkle in some black pepper and maybe a few dashes of hot sauce. A squirt of red wine vinegar is good, too. Top your stack off with a few sliced black olives and fold the sandwich shut.

BAM! Instant gratification! Just don't eat like this all the time. You'll get fat. This is a once in a blue moon meal.

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