Thursday, July 2, 2015

Pizza Hut's Hot Dog Bites Pizza - Gluttonous Absurdity At Its Finest.

It's the moment none of us have been waiting for...

Pizza Hut's revolutionary new Hot Dog Bites Pizza is available for your consumption. Don't you want to choke one down right now?

No, I didn't think so. Neither do I.

In the ultimate act of gluttonous absurdity, the folks over at Pizza Hut decided that what pizza needs is to replace the crust with mini hot dogs. Instead of a tasty, warm piece of pizza crust, you instead get stuck with what amounts to little more than twenty-eight pigs in a blanket. To top it off, your hot dog crust comes with yellow mustard dipping sauce.

Not garlic butter, but plain yellow mustard. Ugh.

Don't get me wrong, I love mustard... but it's not so appetizing with pizza. Two totally different realms of food, my friends.

This is the UK version of Pizza Hut's Hot Dog Pizza.
Just as disgusting as the US version, but in a whole new way.

This monstrous freak show of a dish was initially popular in the United Kingdom. Across the pond, the presentation of the hot dog crust is slightly different. Instead of mini hot dog bites, they simply insert the wiener straight into the crust. Can you imagine that? A stuffed crust pizza with a solid ring of low quality meat around the edge. I'm getting fatter just thinking about it.

I attempted to find nutritional information on Pizza Hut's website for the Hot Dog Bite's Pizza, but it was nowhere to be found. Perhaps their webmaster's heart exploded after eating one. Either way, this is assuredly not good for you. As if a standard Pizza Hut pizza wasn't already unhealthy, surrounding a pie with processed hot dogs covered in salt really sends it into the zone of things you should never eat.

Never... EVER... eat.

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