Today, I was determined to change all that.
After looking at the wires that were present in the ceiling, we trotted down to Lowe's and purchased a brand new ceiling fan for $50. Nothing fancy or extravagant -- just something to get the job done.
Upon bring it home, we went through all of the parts and followed the instructions step by step. This was the first time either of us had ever done an electrical installation. One hour later, the fan was installed and working properly. It was miraculous! I found myself asking...
"Why did I wait so long to install this fan? I'm an idiot."
That was easy.
When Crystal and I finished, I asked her as to why I waited so long to tackle such an apparently easy project. She explained that I lacked confidence in my own abilities for many years, only having recently come to understand how able-bodied and inherently talented I am. Crystal also said that I should continue to believe in myself and not fear future projects.
I think she's right. For far too long, I doubted myself and what I could do. These past few years have been a really healthy period for me. Every step of the way, I'm improving and becoming a more whole human being. It's like I'm earning back the pieces of myself that I gave away over the course of twenty plus years. Every time I look at that ceiling fan, I'll feel a bit of pride.
The funny part? We're thinking about moving in a year. I really should have installed the fan a long time ago so I'd get to enjoy it more!
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