Friday, November 13, 2015

Now We Can All Crap Shiny Glitter Poop.

Just when you think you've seen it all, someone out there decided that your crap needs to sparkle.

I came across a rather strange series of listings on the retail website Etsy recently. Apparently, a fair number of sellers are offering poop glitter tablets. These gelatin capsules are filled with non-toxic (or so they claim) glitter. A person can swallow the capsules and wait for the shiny magic to squirt out of their butt!

I've been on the internet since its inception in the '90s. In twenty plus years time, I've seen a lot of weird stuff on the world wide web. But this... it really takes the cake. Taking a crap isn't something you want to particularly enjoy. Shit is the enemy. It needs to get away from my body as soon as possible. Not once in the thirty-three years that I've been having bowel movements did I ever stop and say "Gee, I want to gaze at my poop just a little while longer... let's make it sparkle!"

Most of the glitter pill retailers make it emphaticly clear within their item descriptions that you shouldn't swallow their product, even though the items are labeled in such a manner that this is obviously what you do with them. Of course, this is the retailers' way of avoiding a costly lawsuit in our highly litigious climate.

A glitter poop retailer's disclaimer.
If the pills aren't intended for consumption, why point out that the glitter is non-toxic?

So... if you ever wanted to void what looks like fairy turds from your bottom, your wish has now been granted!

Makes you wonder where her mouth has been, doesn't it?

No comments:

Post a Comment