Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Trapped On Hold With Terrible Music!

As I write my blog this evening, I'm trapped on hold waiting to speak via telephone with a customer service agent at a web hosting company with which I do business. It's been twenty-two minutes at the start of this article. While I don't mind waiting to speak with someone (I do realize that there are only so many agents to assist callers), I can't help be annoyed.

Their hold music is driving me insane.

Here's the gist of the tune that repeats over and over and over again.

Woo woo woo woooooooo
Random guitar strums
Loud group clap follow by "HEY!"
Do-do-do-doooooooo, hm-hm-hm-hmmmmmmmm

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Aaaaaah!

This music is absolutely terrible. It makes me question why the company would even use it. Surely, they realize that long hold times for customers can raise their stress level. Yet, why antagonize customers even further with annoying, repetitive music? To alleviate the situation, couldn't some smooth jazz be played instead of this third-rate elevator music? Maybe the talents of Chuck Mangione, Mindi Abair or Keiko Matsui could soothe the nerves? Let jazz music fix the problem for you and calm all of the raging beast-mode customers during the long hold times.

But noooooo... Woo woo woo woooooooo.

How about woo woo up your arse?!

Thirty minutes later... still on hold. I've heard this song dozens of times and its eating into my brain. Another idea has occurred to me. Why not play comedic audio plays while on hold? That way, at least the customer would have something to enjoy while waiting to speak with an agent. Heck, play old recordings of comedians for all I care. Just something to break up the monotony.

Woo woo woo woooooooo.

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