Saturday, February 28, 2015

A Prick in a No Parking Zone.

As some of you may have read earlier in the week, I had a trip planned for today. I awoke at a brisk 4 AM this morning in preparation for a drive to Charlotte, North Carolina. I had a toy and hobby show to attend at 9 AM and an early start was required. Alternatively, it was nice to take the new Jeep for a long drive and prove its mettle. Though, this has nothing to do with my article this evening.

Instead, I turn my focus to a single photograph.

I snapped this photo while in the Cheshire Place Shopping Center on WT Harris Boulevard in Charlotte this morning. The green Buick you see in the center of the photo had just insanely whipped in front of me after blowing through an intersection. After cutting before me, he hurriedly slammed on brakes and parked in this No Parking zone. While not something I welcome, encounters with terrible drivers are nothing unfamiliar to me. Nay, what particularly perturbed me about this incident was the rush to plop his vehicle in a clearly marked No Parking zone.

Let's evaluate what the problem is...

You see, almost all retail businesses, restaurants, etc. have a No Parking zone in front of their establishment; it's required by law. As such, they are appropriately signed to let drivers know not to park there.

These placards do not take into consideration assholes like this guy.

Instead of parking in the parking lot like all the other customers, this guy decided that putting his vehicle in the No Parking zone was the appropriate place to leave his car. I mean... why read the sign that's on the building? Much less... WHY READ THE FRICKIN' NO PARKING SIGN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR CAR ON A BRIGHT ORANGE HAZARD CONE?!


It's unfortunate that this business has been forced to put cones in the No Parking zone just to keep pricks like this guy from parking there. But, it's obvious that even the brightly-colored cones aren't enough to prohibit such callous and disrespectful behavior.

And this, my friends, is where I make my point.

In one photograph, I have somehow elegantly surmised the pitiful state of our dear nation. I got lucky, no doubt about it. The truth contained within is stark. Americans have become impertinent, negligent and altogether arrogant.

The hazard cone tactic has obviously failed. There's only one logical response.

Lethal, genetically modified giant guard scorpions.

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