Thursday, May 21, 2015

Grinding My Gears! - Rubbernecking

Oh crap, it's...

In today's installment of my long running series Grinding My Gears!, I want to discuss the persistent thorns in my ass that are rubberneckers. On the way home from grocery shopping, I was stuck behind a long line of vehicles. Upon reaching the crest of the next hill, I saw the reason for my delay -- a police officer parked beside the road with his lights flashing. The closer I came to the officer's cruiser, the slower the person in front of me drove. When it came time for the driver before me to pass by the cop, they slowed almost to a halt, looked out the window at the officer and swerved nearly off the road.


After ceasing my screaming at the driver, they continued to putz down the road at a very slow speed. Why? I couldn't tell you. There was no reason for them to slow down while passing the police officer, that's for damn sure. I'll get to my frustration with the cop in a moment.

Oh look, a traffic jam. There must be a massive wreck up ahead.
Er, wait... it's just someone changing a flat tire.

I'm sick and tired of folks staring at things happening beside the road, all the while recklessly endangering the lives of other drivers. Whatever is taking place, there is no reason for you to slow down and look. Don't turn your head. Keep your eyes on the road and ignore the flashing lights. Every time I see some moron rubbernecking, this is what I imagine is going through their mind:

"Ooooohhh... pretty flashy lights. I must turn my head and look now. Doh, pretty lights!"

Congratulations! You helped cause a traffic jam because you couldn't stay focused on THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT WHILE DRIVING... WHICH IS DRIVING!

Rubbernecking is a leading cause of motor vehicle accidents where a distracted driver is at fault. Current estimates place rubbernecking as being responsible for between ten and twenty percent of ALL roadway accidents. That's not just ridiculous; it's downright moronic. Shape up, American drivers! I'm tired of your crap. 

Now, as to the dumb police officer. Why was he stopped beside the road? I'll tell you. He was staring at a bag of what looked like fast food, mashed in the center of the road. Was he going to arrest the flattened french fries? Beats me, but he had his emergency lights on nevertheless. Here's a police tip -- if you don't need your emergency lights, DON'T USE THEM! Your lights do nothing but attract idiot drivers like the one who was in front of me. Turn the damn lights off, do what you got to do, and get the hell on down the highway!

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