Monday, May 4, 2015

The Insidious Disparity of the Royal Baby Name.

News spread across the internet like wildfire earlier today that the latest child born into the British Royal Family has been named Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. Via television news, social media and the multitude of pop culture outlets, it seems to be all anyone wants to talk about.

What in the living hell is wrong with you people?

This particular child is no more or less important than any other child. According to current global statistics from UNICEF, approximately 353,000 babies are born each day. Will various media outlets report on the names of those other 352,999 children that were born on the same day as Charlotte?

Clearly, they will not. Who am I kidding?

Who will speak the names of these children?

By feeding into this lunacy of idol worship, we've elevated a child to celebrity status before she has ever said her first word. Even worse, why are we celebrating someone as royalty at all? What makes one human being more royal than another? Do we not stand for democracy? For the rights of the individual? For equality under the eyes of the law?

There is no such thing as royalty. There are only those that we willfully elevate to the precipice of supremacy in the shadow of ignorance. This child is no more important than a child born in Yemen, Estonia or Ecuador. Who will speak the names of those children?

Oh, that's right... they're not royalty, so they aren't important.

You might be assuming that I've gone mad. Who would think such nonsense? Cretinous Americans, that's who. Here's an exchange that took place earlier today via Facebook. It has not been altered in any way. I made a comment summarizing the content of this blog on a local television news station's frivolous status update concerning the child.

This is the kind of venomous idiocy I deal with on a day to day basis, whether in person or in cyberspace. When I've said in the past that I'm surrounded by idiots, I literally meant it.

So, the next time you want to harp on about a royal child, please remember what I've conveyed to you in this article. When you elevate one child to such a lofty position, you're essentially asserting that not every child, no matter how innocent, really matters.

Is one child more important than another?

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