Saturday, May 23, 2015

Sabotage For The Win.

Circe Offering the Cup to Ulysses - John William Waterhouse, 1891

There once was a pair of devoted secretaries at the most prestigious accounting firm in the city. Gloria, age 48, was a senior member of the company; she'd been there since it was founded. The other secretary was Candice, age 25. Though only an employee for three years, she was a dedicated, hard worker. Both ladies were well respected within the organization. Just ask any of the other staff members and they would tell you -- without Gloria and Candice, the company would cease to function. They were the glue that held it all together.

Unbeknownst to Candice, Gloria had grown jealous of her younger compatriot. She felt threatened at the possible notion that Candice would soon replace her. This ate at Gloria's soul like a dark sickness, gnawing away at every last shred of decency. So, Gloria did what any threatened alpha predator would do -- she sabotaged Candice's latest slide presentation project. Instead of charts and graphs, there were naked photos of people in various positions. Needless to say, management was not thrilled when they saw the results. Candice was fired on the spot and told to clean her desk out by the end of the day.

As Candice gathered her belongings, she found a letter tucked within her desk and addressed to her. Inside, it said...
"Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill."
Knowing immediately that her fellow secretary had ruined her career with the company, Candice furiously stormed out of the office, never to be seen by Gloria again.

Twenty years later, Gloria was celebrating her retirement with the firm. She was leaving with a hefty retirement fund and accolades too numerous to count. In the span of two decades, Gloria had even managed to get her own daughter hired on with the accounting firm; she was now a senior vice president. Everything was coming up roses for the crafty old secretary. That is, until she fell out of a window on the eighteenth floor of the accounting firm's gigantic office building. She landed face first on a fire hydrant on the street below. Teeth and eyeballs blasted all over the place; it looked like a face salad. Strangely, the police found a note inside Gloria's jacket.
 "And where the offense is, let the great axe fall."
At this point, you may be thinking -- A-ha, Candice finally exacted revenge on the old witch!

You would be wrong.

All the way across the country, Candice sat in the lap of luxury. Soon after being let go from the accounting firm, she started a small bakery with a seed investment from her father. Over the years, Candice became very successful. With three locations along the coast, Candice evolved into one of the finest caterers in the lucrative wedding industry.

While working on a cake shaped like a baseball for her son's little league team, Candice happened to see a particularly interesting news segment on television. The reporter relayed information about the freak accidental death of a woman whom fell from a skyscraper, only to be found with a mysterious note. When Candice heard the name of the deceased party, a slight grin spread across her face. The news anchor continued their report...
"If you have any information about Gloria's death, please call the FBI at..."
Flipping the television off, Candice placed the last bit of decoration on her cake, slid it in the cooler, turned the bakery's lights off and went home to her loving family.

So what's the moral of the story, you're surely wondering?

Sometimes, the best thing that can happen to you is a setback.

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