Saturday, January 16, 2016

The Crappiest Story Ever Told.

Mr. Crap walked into a crappy bar on the crappiest side of town. He ordered a crappy martini from the crappy bartender, whom also was named Mr. Crap. Mr. Crap brought Mr. Crap the crappy martini, whom promptly spit it out and yelled "This is crap!" He was right, that martini was crappy. Mr. Crap told Mr. Crap to bring him a crappy beer. Mr. Crap grabbed a crappy glass and filled it with the bubbly, yellow crap. Mr. Crap liked the crappy beer only slightly more because it was still a little crappy.

As Mr. Crap stumbled out of the crappy bar, he tripped over a crappy pile of cat crap in the crappy street. As his crappy mustache landed in the cat crap, he remarked on how crappy his night was going. "My night is crappy," Mr. Crap exclaimed.

Walking towards the bus stop, Mr. Crap took notice of how the moon looked like a large, white pile of dog crap. Ah, the moonlight sure was crappy. Thankfully, the crappy bus arrived on time. Obviously, the bus looked like a giant piece of crap. Mr. Crap sat on the crappy bus and road it all the way to his crappy apartment.

Fumbling for the keys inside his crappy pants, Mr. Crap realized that there was a crappy hole in his pocket. His crappy keys must have fallen out somewhere. Trodding into the crappy street, he looked up at the crappy sky and shouted crappily "Why is this world so crappy?!"

All the other crappy residents of Mr. Crap's crappy apartment building yelled down below. "Shut your crappy mouth Mr. Crap," they all screamed with crap in their throat.

Unfortunately, Mr. Crap wasn't paying attention to the crappy world around him. As he began to have a crappy mental breakdown, Mr. Crap failed to notice the enormous, crappy tractor trailer carrying a load of fresh crap rushing towards him. As Mr. Crap's crappy life flashed before his crappy eyes, he couldn't think but of one crappy thing to say.

"Oh crap."


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