I Secretly Want a Walk-In Bathtub.

I must admit... I secretly want a walk-in bathtub.

No, I'm not retired. No, I do not have a physical handicap. And no, I do not have any grey hair. I envy those keen and clean silver-age scamps who get to enjoy their walk-in tubs free from harsh criticism. Sure, I might only be 32 years old, but I'll be darned if I haven't wanted a walk-in tub for years!

These tubs are the epitome of comfort. You get to sit down in a jacuzzi-like enclosure and enjoy the warm water of a bath cresting at your shoulders. There are pulsating jets of water that shoot at you from every angle. Some tubs allow for you to inject special aromatherapy oils into the water. Others feature built-in radios and app-friendly programming. Everything about a walk-in tub is designed to provide the most relaxing experience possible.

We've all seen the commercials for walk-in tubs on television. How many times have you awoken to an infomercial at 3 AM to see the ever-youthful Pat Boone trying to sell you one? I know I have! But, this is one of the very few instances where I actually have been sold on a product featured in a paid advertisement. It almost makes me eager to become a senior citizen!

I've looked into the cost of owning a walk-in tub... and they vary wildly in price. Ultimately, one could expect to pay in the range of a few thousand dollars on up to $20,000 for the most advanced models. That's a pretty steep price to pay for some exquisite at-home comfort, but I hope to install one at some point in the future. Perhaps I could crowd-fund a walk-in tub for my home and write new articles from within it!

I guess it's not a secret anymore!

Your Advertising Makes Me Want To NOT Buy From You!

There's just something about really terrible advertising campaigns and commercials that riles me up. Here's an example.

Click for full-size to see how much it sucks.

I received the above local ad in the mail today. It's one of your typical coupon fliers that try to grab your attention with silly antics. Haha... look at that fat cheerleader. Teehee... that so makes me want to buy tires from you.

Unfortunately, I'm one of those people that are completely deterred by this sort of nonsense. Such advertising speaks to a lower caliber of individual. If you feel the need to look like a fool in your advertisement, how can I feel comfortable knowing that you'll provide me with a quality product and/or professional service?

I can't.

Another trend in advertising (especially in rural areas and smaller cities), is to use children in television commercials. I HATE THESE TYPES OF COMMERCIALS MORE THAN ANY OTHER. If I see a child in your commercial attempting to sell me a car, sing me a jingle or generally just try to be cute, I will NEVER... and I mean N-E-V-E-R buy anything from you. Trying to sell your business with children is just, well... for lack of a better word, childish! This method gives me ZERO confidence in your business. Instead of showing me what you do or what you sell, you just assume shoving some cute little kids in front of me will garner my trust. Nope - it makes me assume that you're pathetic. It's also insulting. Expect better of yourself and your potential customers. Look at it this way...

Would you buy a car from a little kid? Of course not. Then why would you use a little kid in your commercial to sell me a car? YOU SHOULDN'T!

Hell no I'm not buying something from you. Get off my television screen!