Sunday, March 15, 2015

A Fool's Guide to Escaping Poverty.

You struggle from week to week just to put food on the table. Your light bill is a month behind. Your car payment is two months behind.

And let's not even mention your rent.

If this sounds familiar, then you're broke.

My blog today is going to address a certain segment of the population -- those whom always seem to be strapped for cash. More often than not, there's a fairly obvious reason as to why you're poor. I firmly believe that most people are directly responsible for whether or not they remain in poverty. You can escape from the lower class if you use your brain and make a few sacrifices. I'm going to cover a few of the reasons as to why you're still poor. Perhaps you can learn a thing or two about where and how you're making mistakes.
  • Stop Breeding: One of the most costly things you'll ever own is a child. Data from the USDA shows that kids are frickin' expensive! For a child born in 2013 and up until they turn eighteen years old, the cost for care averages to nearly a quarter of a million dollars! Multiply that by two, three or even four kids... well, you've screwed yourself already. Use birth control or get an abortion before the damage is done.
  • Drive Something Reasonable: You're already broke as hell, but you're driving an Infiniti with a weekly payment plan at an interest rate over 20%. This is one reason why you're broke. Instead of driving a car you can't afford, why not invest in something cheaper, but just as dependable? You're not fooling anyone with your pricey sedan or SUV... especially when you park it in front of your trailer.
  • Quit Smoking and Drinking: This one should be obvious, but you boneheads still do it. Currently, a pack of name brand cigarettes can cost you between $5 and $15, depending on the state you're in. If you plow through a pack a day, that totals up to $1,825 on the low end and $5,475 on the high end annually! WOW! That has to be the most expensive way to commit suicide ever. Just think of what you could do with a couple thousand dollars extra in your bank account. The same train of thought can also be applied to alcohol. Cutting back on one six pack of beer a week can save you between $260 and $520 annually. That alone is worth one or two car payments.
  • Cut the Cord: If you're broke as a joke, you've got no business paying for television. Get yourself a decent digital antenna and watch television for free. Sure, the channel selection isn't as diverse, but you don't have to pay for it either. Television is one luxury you just don't need when you're poor. Better yet, take advantage of your local library and read a book!
  • Stop Eating Out: Believe it or not, you can actually eat food at home! Shocking, I know. Seriously, instead of eating nearly every meal out of a drive-thru window, try going grocery shopping and preparing your meals at home. Instead of spending forty dollars on take-out, put that cash towards a cart full of groceries. It'll last longer and you won't get so damn fat.
  • Put It Back: You don't need a new purse, shiny shoes or a pair of blinged-out sunglasses. If you spend more than $75 on a pair of sneakers (and that's me being very generous), then you're a total idiot. Unnecessary spending on clothing and personal accessories is an easy way to watch your money go bye-bye.
Unfortunately, the victims in all this nonsense are children. They have no control over how wretched their parents' choices are. If anything, consider making some changes to your personal finances so your kids have a better shot at succeeding in life. They didn't choose the world that you've placed them in. That's right -- I'm guilt-tripping you. You suck as a parent and your kids will be shitty because of your bad decisions.

There you have it -- some simple tips to keep money in your wallet. Though, it's probably all for naught. As the old saying goes...

A fool and his money are soon separated.

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