Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The #KylieJennerChallenge Proves Idiots Will Try Anything.

I kid you not...

The internet is currently set ablaze about how you can make your lips bigger. I mean B-I-G-G-E-R.

We're talking epic giraffe-size big.

Over the past week, total morons all around the country have been participating in the #KylieJennerChallenge. What is this challenge? It's inspired by the lips of Kardashian brood member Kylie, whom is apparently known for... nothing. She's known for absolutely nothing. Here is a recent photo of her, which reflects her supposedly luscious lips.

Reportedly, she has not had any lip injections (sure). Whether she has or not, I could care less. Anyone with the proper know-how can accentuate their lips naturally with the right make-up techniques. To participate in this challenge, you're supposed to cram your lips into a small cylinder, like a shot glass or pill bottle. Then, after creating suction inside the bottle for an extended period of time, you're supposed to pull your lips out and enjoy their new found sexy girth. To finish off the challenge, you snap a selfie of and post it to social media with the hashtag #KylieJennerChallenge. Here's a video showcasing some of the dumbest people you'll ever meet on the internet.

Seriously... I can't even believe I have to report on this nightmare. You shouldn't cram parts of your body into tight spaces under high pressure. Blood vessels can and will burst, sometimes causing permanent damage. I'm certain many of the knuckleheads whom have participated will see some type of permanent discoloration or disfigurement. Best case scenario, their lips will be heavily bruised for a week or two. Oh, but it's sooooo sexy. NOT! I would rather kiss a giraffe. At least I know the giraffe isn't a total dumbass.

I can't help but wonder -- why would folks willfully submit to such a foolish scheme? Don't they know their lips look clownish and absurd? No one naturally has lips this large! Yet again, idol worship has replaced common sense. Send in the clowns!

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