Thursday, April 30, 2015

'Star Wars' Is About The Bounty Hunters, Right?

The only character in Star Wars
that Darth Vader is afraid of -- Boba Fett.

Star Wars is a series of films about various bounty hunters struggling with survival in a dangerous, unpredictable galaxy torn asunder by chaos. There also happen to be these boring wizards with tricked-out flashlights in a multitude of colors.

That's how I see the Star Wars saga. I have felt this way since the moment I watched The Empire Strikes Back.

I could really care less about the whole Jedi versus Sith conflict. I have zero interest in mystical ninjas who can do magic tricks and like to pretend they're samurai.

Darth Vader... don't care.
Obi-Wan Kenobi... don't care.
Luke Skywalker... really don't care.

Han Solo and Chewbacca are also of no real concern to me. Solo is just another typical cowboy jock with an inflated ego. As to Chewie... well... I've seen shag carpets with more personality.

And let's not forget C-3PO and R2-D2 (I wish I could) -- two annoying characters without any real sense of necessity. They're just MacGuffins to move the plot along. The only really important droid in the entire Star Wars saga is R5-D4. Without its existence, the whole story literally collapses. Can you say linchpin?

Why don't the fans love me? They should.

To be perfectly honest with you, I don't particularly enjoy A New Hope at all. It's boring and predictable. The dialog is stiff and the action, even when considering it's the late 1970's, is sub-par. And what's up with Obi-Wan's disappearing act? It just doesn't make any sense. After I saw A New Hope for the first time as a kid, I wasn't impressed. Meh... just another science fiction movie.


And then I saw The Empire Strikes Back. Finally... some interesting characters! There are bounty hunters... and they're cool. On board a Star Destroyer with Darth Vader, we're initially introduced to Boba Fett, IG-88, Zuckus, 4-LOM, Bossk and Dengar. They've been contracted to catch that knucklehead Han Solo. Hurrah, some characters to finally root for! At the end of the movie, the bad guys (good guys?) actually win. Boba Fett has captured Han Solo! YES! These bounty hunters obviously have substance; they have a story to tell. Unfortunately, they get few (if any) lines of dialogue. This is what depresses me most about Star Wars...

The most interesting aspect of the entire cinematic universe, the Bounty Hunters, is almost a footnote.

Return of the Jedi doesn't improve the bounty hunters' presence any. In fact, their best hunter Boba Fett is gobbled up by a giant Sarlacc. Sure, he eventually escapes the beast's gut, but that's another story entirely.


My enjoyment of Star Wars is a love/hate relationship. They're perfectly decent films, but the best component of the entire story is nearly absent. Why weren't the bounty hunters fleshed out? They could have an entire film saga all to their selves and it would be immensely more interesting than what we are familiar with. When it comes to the Star Wars fandom, I'm definitely in the minority. Yet, I hold out hope. Perhaps the new trilogy will feature more bounty hunters. We could only be so lucky.


Hi! I'm 4-LOM and this is my pal Zuckuss. We're two wild and crazy guys!

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